up, up and away!~~~

Should do this :)

2010-11-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

For those who might've not known yet, I have switched to tumblr :)

its here

www.notdefinedbytheworld.tumblr.com

hehe

tee ni thinks i should post it just in case :P

Taking up my Cross

2010-04-18T05:10:00.000-07:00

I've always wondered what it would mean to take up my cross.

Will I have to go out and make the world hate me?

or do I have to leave everything and run after Christ?

if so, how do I do it?

Jesus said, you can't choose Him and the world.

Yes, as I say I will follow you Jesus,

that would also mean

Goodbye world

Never knew how much I was letting go, until I really reflected on it.

Close friends will eventually become mere acquaintances,

not so close friends become best friends,

being labelled as the busy one

hearing the typical line

"owh well, i guess she's busy. she always is"

as running after God becomes the main focus.

It does hurt when I see all the opportunities that I am missing out on.

and although I know I have a slightly more packed schedule than average,

doesn't really make it better when people I care about would leave me out of something

simple because they thought

I was too busy for them.

don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone.

I really sometimes can't help but to get frustrated though.

Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." - Luke 9:62

I want to be fit for the kingdom!

One thing I learnt is the more I give up, the more I realize all I really have is Jesus.

Not saying I'm a loner and I've got no friends,

I have to say, I've been blessed with loving friends.

Its just, at the end of the day, when I'm back in my room,

all I want to know is,

did I please the Lord today?

Cannons!

2010-04-05T03:33:00.000-07:00

So, I just finished my 1st thermodynamics exam. didn't screw up like i thought i would (ptL~~ (:

hehehe

having engineering mechanics this thursday, then 2nd round of thermo again next week.

studying has never been so fun [:

i think i'm having mechanical engineering math again next week too. that i didn't do so well ]:

but its okay! cause i know i'll do better the next time!

no i'm not lying to myself okay?

this is the song that has been in my head the whole day yesterday and today

be blessed~

It's falling from the clouds
A strange and lovely sound
I hear it in the thunder and rain
It's ringing in the skies
Like cannons in the night
The music of the universe plays

You are holy great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are

Beautiful and free
Song of Galaxies
It's reaching far beyond the milky way
Lets join in with the sound
C'mon let's sing it loud
As the music of the universe plays

All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours forever amen

First post as a Sophomore

2010-03-31T04:53:00.000-07:00

J.C & Joe

It has been a while. I've been occupied. 2nd year of uni has proven itself horrible. Korea's showing how bad global warming is. It feels as if Spring's playing hide and seek. Hope it comes soon though. Fell sick a few days ago. Making a collapsible chair as a class project. Wonder will it work out the way we want it to. Am praying over it that it doesn't actually collapse when the prof sits on it. Arabic vocabulary quiz tomorrow. Wonder how will I fair? Here's the song I'm sharing for today :)

Matthew West - More

Take a look at the mountain
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am
And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to me
And I want you to know
I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

Shine for me
Shine for me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for me

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more

I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine and you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday
And today
Through the joy
And the pain
I say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

And I see you
And I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

Bring the Rain

2010-02-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Letting Go

2010-02-05T08:19:00.001-08:00

Many of us don't let go of the things that we're familiar with for the fear that what lies ahead would not be as good as what we had before.

for example,

refusing to let go of old feelings towards another person and open up to new ones for the fear that the new ones might not be as reaffirming as the old ones were

despite knowing that the old feelings might no longer be mutual any more.

for example,

refusing to let go of the world for the fear that God might not be satisfying enough.

fearing that we might just miss out on worldly fulfilments, that others are enjoying, if we let go.

for example,

not wanting to let go our future and life into God's hands cause we think we might just know better despite time and time confessing that His ways are higher.

for example,

not letting go of old wounds, refusing to let it heal for fear that the healing of the wound would leave you feeling sorry for yourself because whoever who wounded you should suffer from the guilt of hurting you everyday for the rest of their lives, bringing their sins into their graves.

you quote your example. we all have got something we refuse to let go in life for their own reasons. but if whatever you're not letting you go, is causing you pain,

think again.

is the pain worth it?

asking for all things in order to enjoy life

is it time to flip the coin and look at things from the other end?

to be given life to enjoy all things.

falling in love

2010-01-31T05:14:00.000-08:00

is a scary thing.

i just realized, i realy am not ready yet

i'm glad i'm not

I Never Quite Thought About It

2010-01-30T06:16:00.000-08:00

somehow, for the past few days, i realized i've been talking a lot about my dad. all started when i started telling qi hao about him. i never realized how proud of my dad i really am. seriously.
yes, the man in the picture is my dad (:
he may not be the best dad in the world if compared to other dads.i won't say he's the best dad anyone can have, but i can say he's the best dad i can ever have. for sure, i can ask for more, although chances are, i won't
among the questions i've been asking myself and God was, what did my dad do to deserve what he is going through right now? i mean, Parkinson's no joke. yeah, he smokes, he used to drink a lot, had the most conservative thinking but isn't the world like that?
i remember one chinese new year when my dad was too sick (or maybe he just didn't want to) join the family hang out time after the reunion dinner (it was the last CNY i had in malaysia). he was at the other house lying down, resting and when i walked into the room, i saw my elder sister in tears, as she was massaging my dad to help relax the cramps he has as a side effect of the meds. she was trying to salvage the lil hope my dad had left of becoming a normal man again. no matter how futile it might had felt. and i remembered clearly the words tht we exchanged that night.
i told her "God has a reason for everything" and she went "if he did, why is this happening? its unfair that ah pa worked his whole life and end up like this. if god is real, why is this happening?"
i remembered, all i could say was "God has a reason for everything". i didn't know the reason neither did i realize the faith i had was a blessing.
looking back, i realized, God is just. although my dad's not a believer yet, look where i'm at today. where my mom and my younger sisters are at. we're all believers praying for his salvation. believing that that eventual day will come when my dad will come to know who Jesus is. as his family, we are reaping the fruits of his labour. God is just.
if my dad never got Parkinsons, he might've been so succesful in life, that he might have completely neglected the family. i might've turned to be a spoilt brat. my mom a disturbed depressed rich man's wife, my sisters might've gone down the wrong paths. but instead, neither of these happened. we're all very much anchored to earth because of the disease.
blessing in disguise? maybe.
i may never quite understand why:
why does ah pa have to go through what he's going through now emotionally, physically and mentally?
why does my mom have to deal with it?
why does my elder sister get so frustrated?
why did i have to travel all the way to korea to realize this when i'm in a position where i can't go back and share any of it with my family?
but i do know one thing. faith can bring one a long way. and i'm holding on to it. cause it's all i have.

God has a reason for everything.

하은아 사랑해 (Oct 21, 2009 - Jan 23, 2010)

2010-01-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

I rushed into the morgue this morning because I was already late. I ran to the nearest counter and asked "변하은?" The words came out smoother than I thought. As I kept saying that name, I realized how really beautiful her name is. Emma Byun HaEun. Emma=Emmanuel = God with us HaEun=하나님의 은혜 = God's grace.

I got to the room where they kept baby Emma's body. The room was full of mourning people and right beside her were Pastor Eddie and Hyun Samonim. Samonim was just touching lil Emma's face. Slowly, the pastoral staff took their turns to pray over Emma. We were all praying for a miracle, believing in a resurrection to take place and we believed till the very end. The night before, during her memorial, Pastor Eddie shared with us his conviction of a resurrection and how he knew even if Emma's not resurrected, he'll give God thanks and praise.

The whole time through, I waited for a cry from Emma, a cry that would tell us the Lord has decided to allow us to spend more time with this child, but we waited, we prayed, we sang the hymns, laid the flowers...no cry came. Time was running out, God!!!!its a miracle now or never!!!

The moment came and went. No resurrection. No cry. Baby Emma finally said good-bye. I felt numb. The tears which I refused to cry, afraid it would mean I have already given in to what I am seeing, flowed as I looked up and saw Samonim weeping. I didn't know how to feel. It was the first time I've been in such a situation. I have never prayed for a resurrection in my life. Let alone believe in it.

3 months ago, when Emma's condition started to worsen, the whole church was shaken. Surely such a thing will not happen to a pastor's child. Wrong. Hundreds and hundreds of people joined in the fasting and prayer movement for Emma. Surgery after surgery, this little warrior survived. By her 3rd surgery, doctors were calling her a miracle baby and we believed that the Lord was going to bring her through and answer all our prayers to give Him all the Glory and Honour! Altogether, baby Emma made it through 11 surgeries. 11 surgeries, all successful, all equally dangerous. See that fist up there? She was a tough cookie!

We prayed, we petitioned. But on Friday, the doctors finally made the decision that they were going to give up and they took lil baby Emma off life support. She left us Saturday morning. I didn't know anything about it cause Rut's place had no internet. I found out on Sunday morning during worship service, but JC didn't exactly say Emma died, he just said they took her off life support. So all I prayed for was a miracle.

And in a miracle I believe, cause my God is the same God that is in the book of Acts. He is a God of miracles. Lil Emma taught me that I have the capacity to believe beyond myself. She taught me how to take steps of faith, to pray, to claim His promises. To believe that He things that I would not have had the faith to believe. She taught me how to love, unselfishly. She brought the church together to pray as one. She shone light into the darkest places in the lives of those around her. It was through this baby I learnt how fragile life is and what it means when we say God sustains us and is our every breath. Yes, Princess Emma has indeed done a lot for me and God has used her mightily in the past 4 months.

Love you baby Emma, miss you. Can't wait till I finally get to meet you in Heaven with our King!~

Jim's idea of "pick up lines"

2009-12-06T05:19:00.000-08:00

[10/11/2008 00:27:00] jim wu: i'm a lousy shooter
[10/11/2008 00:27:02] jim wu: coz...
[10/11/2008 00:27:05] jim wu: i keep missing you
[10/11/2008 00:27:45] jim wu: wait...another one...
[10/11/2008 00:28:03] jim wu: is your dad a terrorist?
[10/11/2008 00:28:08] jim wu: coz you are the bomb
[10/11/2008 00:28:45] jim wu: wait...
[10/11/2008 00:28:46] jim wu: another one
[10/11/2008 00:28:53] jim wu: are you a thief?
[10/11/2008 00:29:08] jim wu: another..
[10/11/2008 00:29:10] jim wu: erm..
[10/11/2008 00:29:37] jim wu: when you stand in the swimming pool
[10/11/2008 00:29:46] jim wu: you are like a toddler in the pool
[10/11/2008 00:29:59] jim wu: coz, i can't take my eyes off you

they are more than a year old already

lol!~

>.<

2009-11-25T05:27:00.000-08:00

Think of your death today, till you can
gladly say, To die is gain because of Christ. Then live & love while you
have breath. - John Piper

this made me go

>.<

but its so true...

okay John Piper,

i'll try till i get it

when everything's going to be okay

2009-11-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Month

Dannah Gresh: "A Girl should get so lost in God, that a guy has to seek HIM to find her!"

*amen*

Song of the Month

There's a cry in my heart

For Your glory to fall

For Your presence to fill up my senses

There's a yearning again

A thirst for discipline

A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?

Could You carry me through?

If I open my heart?

Could I go there with You?

(For I've been here before

But I know there's still more

Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have If I don't have You, Jesus?

What in this life Could mean any more?

You are my rock

You are my glory

You are the lifter

Of my head

Lifter of this head

*amen*

* * *

Challenge of the Month

just had my calculus exam

physics exams on monday

and i still can smile

is this not grace?

* * *

aku tiba-tiba

2009-10-26T02:11:00.000-07:00

terasa nak blog

and guess what?

(penonton: what?)

perasaan ini so happen to dirasa right before aku nak start my calculus homework!~

>.<

aku sudah mahu melepaskan tangan

*bloop bloop bloop*

apa bunyi itu?

(audience: apa?)

bunyi orang di tepi aku tengah mengelemas

*chak chak chak*

bunyi apa tu?

(kepo sekalian: apa?)

bunyi knight in shining armour ku datang rescue

(all the girls go: awwwww)

rotfl!~

this is what 1st year mechanical engineering can drive you to do.

but

God's good (:

simply cause He is (:

(and all His people say: AMEN!)

whoops!

2009-09-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

i keep telling you all to read my blog about why i'm not going back right?

but as teeni has pointed out, i noticed i forgot to state why =X

cause i think i subconsciously thought i did :P

okay

so the reason why i won't be going back end of this is ...

i'll bring you all back to where it all started

*stares into a distance*

for those who am of the idea i changed universities (i'm not naming anyone XP)

well technically speaking i did and did not.

so this is how it is:

for the first one and a half years, i have been attending language school at Seoul National University (SNU), so i was only focused on picking up the language.

then around february this year, i graduated language school and moved on to my undergrad studies at Yonsei University.

so now, my major is mechanical engineering and i'm a freshman currently clawing her way through sem 2.

ah...now that we've cleared things up, here's the whole point of the blog.

in Yonsei, foreign students need to master the Korean language up to level 6 (this is according to the Yonsei standard) in order to take all the credits (19 creds) like a normal student.

anything below level 6, the student will then be subjected to the torture of only being able to take 12 or less credit hours per semester.

i did finish level 6 at SNU but unfortunately it wasn't good enough.

see, at first, my cousellar told me that this limitation only applies to freshman students but cum sem 2, she tells me a different story and that this limitation applies until we either graduate or get a Yonsei language school's level 6 (booooo O.o)

i've already taken the exam 3 times, got level 5s at during the 1st 2 and level 4 on the last attempt (i know.... O.o)

considering the fact that my major really doesn't dwell much on language, i have decided to attend the korean class this winter semester (this is where you sob - *sobs*) and get that level 6. The main reason why it is so important to me is because if i continue with this limitation to my credits, i'll never ever be able to graduate and JPA will revoke my scholarship and i'll be stranded in this foreign land where its people eat kimchi and fix their noses every now and then.

see, i don't want that. its not that i don't like korea, its just i would want to go home, someday.

so, the winter classes will be starting in Jan stretching to March. don't really want to go through all that jetlag for a 2 week stay again....i love you all, but i'm not that rich and the jet lag'll kill me O.o

why don't you all come over for winter? (:

we can go skiing :D

heeee!~~~

anyway, this is why i can't make it home end of this year. trust me, i was crushed when i found out too. but it is a sacrifice that needs to be made. for the better (i hope)

there might be loopholes here and there in my story cause i'm free writing. so most probably a thought or two might have slipped off and i'm to lazy to re-read what i just wrote. heeee

love you all!~~

muah!~~

come korea look for me!~~~

and buy me milo and tuna and laksa!~~~

-end-

i've got a whole closet of odd socks because the keep getting lost in the washer!!!!

a week ago

2009-09-15T01:51:00.000-07:00

i barely knew this dude.

haha

his name's jeremy.

and he's now my friend.

i'm happy he is (:

by the way jeremy,
if you ever stalk your way here
just want to tell you,
you're the 1st guy who didn't complain while taking sticker pix
hehee
seee, you're somewhat korean too

On Monday

2009-09-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

we had a band performance! XD
i was
the DRUMMER!!
~~ wheee~~
meng yang, ching ern and ajay
made it for the concert (:
am super happy they did (:
thankew soo muchieee!!~~

heheeeeajay, my sifu,
was proud cause i didn't have holes in my playing :D
am looking forward to getting good at it!

dan gave me my 1st pair of drumsticks
for my birthday
in advance
*touched*
heheeeee

1st week of school has been rather...
tough, tiring
and...
a lil disappointing....
but...
the Lord has been good
that's all i can say (:
*amen*

miss you alll
and got another thing to say....
i won't be going home this winter ):

-end-

After a month...

2009-08-16T04:13:00.000-07:00

compared to a month ago,
how am i different?
i don't know...
but one thing for sure is,
i've somewhat grown a lil
even though i can't seem to put it into words,
i did that tiny lil bit
a lot of it had a lot to do with my unplanned trip back

* * *
being home,
somehow brought me back down to earth.
i came crashing down so hard on day 1 that i thought i could've died.
jet lag + reality check = headache - physical cure

you see, being away, i knew a lil bit of everything.
but nothing felt too major, maybe because the stories that you hear are from a distant land
or maybe people don't tell me too full stories, missing some details here and there
or maybe its just me being a terrible listener, missed all those details
or maybe my brain that's leakier than a leaky cauldron, by passed all those "little details that mattered"

ANYWAY

my point is,
it somehow didn't feel that "serious"
or maybe its just me never taking anything too seriously O.o

*sidetrack: no, i'm not frustrated, although i sound flustered. its just, for the 1st time since going away, i finally stopped trying to reason these issues away and had a good time to just think and reflect and come to terms with how things are right now. and they aren't too good, frankly speaking. but its just looking into the mirror and telling oneself to "suck it up!" and go on a "head on collision" (quoted from physic lec) knwoing who's got my back*

but yeah, i'm slowly learning how to deal.

how some things require radical action,
and how some require a very different approach.
learning's never been more fun!
O.o
heheeeee

* * *
being home this time, i've learnt a lot more about certain individuals
and they are
*drumrolls*
my mom
gg
amanda
rut

i'm eager to hear more stories
and i know the Lord's opening more hearts to share them
=)

* * *
being home this time, i didn't get to meet :
*drumrolls*
pinky
abraham sebas
sweeks
mr chan

well, my apologies to pinky for
getting all the dates wrong and blowing up at her once i got to taiping.
had in mind a suprise.
but i was the one up for one
hehehee
the irony

okay people
i'm in hong kong now
waiting for my mom in the airport.
free internet =D

till we meet!

God Bless to the max!

up, up and away!~~~

2009-07-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

i feel like a child

being swept by the Wind

It is strong most of the days

but sometimes It gets weak

whoooo!~~do those times get scary!~

but when i look down;

wait those hands look familiar!~

they are my Father's hands!~

"Go!~ Fly!~ don't be afraid"

said He

So i go!~ fly!~ free!~

never fearing!

for even when i can't see those Mighty Hands,

i KNOW they are there =)

how you ask?

i just call out!~

""Father!"

and everytime He answers,

"Yes, my child"

up, up and away!~~~

* * *

2 Psalms 103:11 - 12

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him, as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our trangressions from us (!)

unashamed!

2009-07-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

Unashamed - Starfield

I have not much

To offer You

Not near what You deserve

But still I come

Because Your cross

Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King

Of sympathy

Whose wounds secure my peace

Your grace extends

To call me friend

Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak

I know I'm unworthy

To call upon Your name

But because of grace

Because of Your mercy

I stand here unashamed

I can't explain

This kind of love

I'm humbled and amazed

That You'd come down

From heavens heights

And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet

In my brokeness complete

* * *

i like this song =)

wheee!!!~~~

Good-Byes

2009-07-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

I don't like good-byes...

especially long ones...

especialy ones that you know you will eventually have to make...

I am couting down to one right now...

My insides feel knotted up...

I don't want to cry when I say good-bye later...

Malcolm said that we cannot have everything in life...

Sometimes its just not ours...

but one cannot help but feel that sadness...

*sighs*

Another chapter closes, another one starts...

When will I get to read the whole book?

My hearts heavy...

but it is at peace...

His will is sovereign...

I will just have to wait and see...

He gives and takes away...

but my heart will choose to say,

"Lord blessed be Your name"

amen

***

With all that said...

Just so I don't cry later...

Good-bye, Anthony!~

It was nice getting to know you!~

EXCITEMENT TO THE MAX!

2009-07-01T23:22:00.001-07:00

I AM GOING HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~

the statement is self explanatory

sayang sayang sekalian!~

jom jom jom!!~~~

You Say What?!~

2009-06-17T21:45:00.001-07:00

YOU SAY	GOD SAYS	BIBLE VERSES
You say: 'It's impossible'	God says: All things are possible	(Luke 18:27)
You say: 'I'm too tired'	God says: I will give you rest	(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: 'Nobody really loves me'	God says: I love you	(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: 'I can't go on'	God says: My grace is sufficient	(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: 'I can't figure things out'	God says: I will direct your steps	(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: 'I can't do it'	God says: You can do all things	(Philippians 4:13)
You say: 'I'm not able'	God says: I am able	(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: 'It's not worth it'	God says: It will be worth it	(Roman 8:28 )
You say: 'I can't forgive myself'	God says: I Forgive you	(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: 'I can't manage'	God says: I will supply all your needs	(Philippians 4:19)
You say: 'I'm afraid'	God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear	(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'	God says: Cast all your cares on ME	(I Peter 5:7)
You say: 'I'm not smart enough'	God says: I give you wisdom	(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: 'I feel all alone'	God says: I will never leave you or forsake you	(Hebrews 13:5)

EPL Highlights…

2009-06-10T06:21:00.001-07:00

Pinky!!!!Erin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss the times we would message each other

To remind each other to watch the highlights just because Persie <3 or Lampard or Terry or Pedersen or (I refuse to name manU people *neh neh* =P)

I miss misss misssssssssssss you guys at home =((((

Was watching the EPL 08/09 highlights just now…

Then hor… that new young player in ManU look so much like Lampard…

BUT I got no one to tell =(

I was like whispering to myself…

Dang! People must think I'm crazy…

I was like naming one player after another under my breath but no one to confirm it with =(

Anen I laugh on my own….

I wanna go mamak stall!!!!!!!!eat roti canai!!!!!!!!!! Drink Teh TARIK!!!!!!!!!

And shout my lungs out when I see a SPECTACULAR GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.o

My 2 Lil Bros

2009-06-05T12:43:00.000-07:00

let me present to you my 2 korean 남동생(namdongsaeng=lil bro)

hahahahaha...and when i say lil bros, i do literarily mean lil bros.

both are born in the year 91, but they graduated high school a year ealier than normal students and got accepted into the nations 2 top university and is currently the top few in the engineering campus >.<

hrm...amanda and avryl, don't be jealous okay. you both will always be my younger sisters =)) but yes. i seriously think i have exercised my tolerance much with both kids. but they are pretty interesting to hang out with. its as if, i'm looking at a video that is turning back in time. its like...they are not that much younger than me, so i actually get the chance to like remember how i was when i was their age and the thoughts that i thought of when they share their opinions with me. sometimes i wonder was i meant to be a boy. but i bet my mom's glad that i'm a girl =) and God made me a girl. so i'm satisfiesd. okay i'm straying off topic T.T but yes...so yes...i've got smart people as my lil bro...dang! hahaha...definitely helps.. (i think) i guess, it suits my personality of liking to watch out for others. maybe shahidan's right, i am one who likes to have someone to watch over...well i guess that's cause i have Someone who is so Strong watching my back that it becomes only natural that i would want to do the same to other people....hrm...i love my God =)))) ok...how did i get there =P but yes...so here's my to lil bros. their names are : hyung soo -형수 (the one on the left) and won jun - 원준. yup....looks like destiny's brought us together for at least the next few years. cheers!

A Sudden Urge to Blog!~

2009-06-02T09:02:00.001-07:00

I simply suddenly felt like blogging

Of His Grace and providence…

If you believe He's going to provide, He will =)

That's the cool part isn't it =)

I am so blessed…to be surrounded by encouragers and to learn how to encourage…

I am so blessed…to be able to meet people from all walks of life

I am so blessed…to be able to speak my English with a pure Malaysian accent and not be ashamed of it =)

I am so blessed…to be in Korea right now

I am so blessed…to be able to tell you how blessed I am

I am so blessed…to have friends at home who remember

I am so blessed…to be so blessed

Amen =)))

I want Free Milo

2009-05-29T18:03:00.001-07:00

Am making milo to drink now…

I miss the free milo we get during Hari Sukan….

That kind of milo's the yummiest…

I miss the one at siang malam too…

Cukup PEKAT!

Ush!

(teeeheeehee...i just had to...the pic's too good to keep in my comp=)))

Being His Chosen One…

2009-05-27T19:54:00.001-07:00

Luke 22:31-38 (The Message)

^31-32"Simon, stay on your toes. Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from me, like chaff from wheat. Simon, I've prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out. When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start."

³³Peter said, "Master, I'm ready for anything with you. I'd go to jail for you. I'd die for you!"

³⁴Jesus said, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Peter, but before the rooster crows you will have three times denied that you know me."

³⁵Then Jesus said, "When I sent you out and told you to travel light, to take only the bare necessities, did you get along all right?"

"Certainly," they said, "we got along just fine."

^36-37He said, "This is different. Get ready for trouble. Look to what you'll need; there are difficult times ahead. Pawn your coat and get a sword. What was written in Scripture, 'He was lumped in with the criminals,' gets its final meaning in me. Everything written about me is now coming to a conclusion."

³⁸They said, "Look, Master, two swords!"

But he said, "Enough of that; no more sword talk!"

Luke 22:31-38 (King James)

³¹And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:

³²But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

³³And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.

³⁴And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.

³⁵And he said unto them, When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing.

³⁶Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.

³⁷For I say unto you, that this that is written must yet be accomplished in me, And he was reckoned among the transgressors: for the things concerning me have an end.

³⁸And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough.

Wow wow wow wow!!!!~~

Brother and sisters in Christ!

This is what Jesus is saying:

"You're mine…and Satan cannot have you. I'm praying for you ALL the time, for you to past the strength and be someone so much greater than who you are right now after the test(from glory to glory~~~)!"

When you feel like you don't have what it takes to go through those times, remember Jesus is praying for you in Heaven. He's looking down making sure you've got everything you need to get through.
you just need to believe He's in charge of the situation and that He has GOT YOUR BACK! =))

Why did I quote 2 versions of the bibles? Cause the one in King James' sounds so much more serious =P

"Satan hath desired to have you"

But in Christ we have the VICTORY!!~~ =)))

Wheee!!~~~

-Over and out-

*beep beep beep*

All Glory to God

2009-05-22T21:54:00.001-07:00

I wonder who's complaining again that I haven't been updating my blog. But then again, I think people simply get used to the idea I don't do it that often =)

It has been 2 weeks of ups and downs but praise to God for His everlasting Joy! ^^v

Let's see…what has been up!

Lemme count back the days.

Let's start from the day my school had a big festival =)

Apparently they have it every year..it's called dae-dong-jae (yes, its literarily translated into big festival)

Just in case you're wondering what is it about, just imagine hari kantin but imagine our bubble tea, nasi ayam, cotton candy...everything becoming alcoholic… =S

No I'm actually serious =.=

Yes, and to cap it all up, we had this thing called Akaraka. Can't believe I chose that over Miracle Crusade

It's like a semi concert where college students shout their lungs out cheering and shouting and then drinking the whole night after 2 nights of drinking >.<

So yeah…then came Saturday… *suspense*

Okay, before I go on, Anthony Pang, I know you don't read this blog but still, I'm gonna make a public apology here…yes despite the fact you're never gonna see it

Sorry Pang (>.<)/

So what happened was… I'll never learn to say no =.= Anthony (a friend from church) who was making a video for the church retreat and asked if I could help him out on set

And as usual, without thinking too much 0.0 I said yes O.o

Then what happened was…on Saturday I just realized that we weren't going to have ushers for Fire Crusade (I tell you guys what that is later)

So I panicked and I had to go to New Philly (a church) to meet the guy who was in charge of ushering for the Miracle Crusade.

Thank God for Larry =) We had ushers for that night. But yes…cause I went to New Philly I couldn't make it to the shooting of the video… and so yes… >.<

Okay that aside, let's talk about the highlight of my week =)

Andres Bisonni – speaker of the fire and miracle crusades

He is one anointed man and I have to say God is good ALL THE TIME =)

He came right in time…it was like the timing was PERFECT

I was going through a lot of struggle to just surrender to the Lord…especially my studies…haven't been getting good results (scroll down to read more) …

But long story made short, He restored His joy and peace in me =)

A lot of confirmation...a lot of joy!!~~ =)))

That night was just crazy!~~

After that night…I dunno…nothing physical changed…my results are still the same…

I walk into the exam hall I still dunno how to do my exams…

But I just sense so much joy and peace!!~~ =)

HALLELUJAH!~ =))

Okay..lemme clarify a thing or two…

I've been studying okay…it's just…I dunno why I haven't seem to be able to gain any momentum yet.

So yes physics exams were on Monday night…

And yes…I got a 7/100 =)

Am not flaunting my results… but you guys have the right to know =)

Cause you are my friends and I love you =)

And you have all the right to know I’m not as smart as you think I am =P heheeeeee

So yes =)

Oh oh and my youth kids =) I have a student. His name's Sea Hyun and he's just catching the fire!!! Praise God =D heheheeeeeee

God's moving crazily among our youths here =)

That my week =)

And oh yes!~ I finally dyed my hair again after so long =P

Here are the before and after pics =)

before

after

In His Joy!!~~~
-amy-

Taste and see that the Lord is Goood

2009-05-15T15:56:00.001-07:00

So many have yet tasted and see that the Lord is good…

Sow in faith! Sow in faith!

Rock of Ages

2009-05-13T21:17:00.000-07:00

this sermon....it was a care package fed-exed from Heaven =))

be blessedd!!~~

1 year 2months (appx.)

2009-05-12T16:43:00.001-07:00

It has been 1 year 2 months since I last got home

Since I last met my family members and friends.

Saw the pictures my sisters been uploading.

Bah bah (black sheep)

I feel old.

But I'm happy I bought that camera before I left

합주실 고고!!
(literal translation: jamming room. Go go!)

I'm late… wadeva la….=P

이제 부터 더 열심히 화이팅하겠습니다!
(literal translation: I'll fight harder from now on!)

도전하겠습니다!
(literal translation: Bring it on!

Booo…late

고고씽!
(literal translation : go go! *ZING!*)

I'm sorry you just wasted your time too =)

나 공부…알뜻 말뜻

2009-05-12T09:37:00.001-07:00

공부했니?
(Have you studied?)

웅. 공부했어.
(Yup. I did)

그럼 셤을 잘 치겠네
(awww..then you must have done well from your exam)

아니. 잘 못 쳤거등
(nope)

Enough

2009-05-10T09:12:00.001-07:00

Just got back from a weekend of fun work =)
Am pretty tired but hrm…gotta study for exams on Tuesday
And…this was in my mailbox when I got home. It is from a girlfriend who is in the army.
A woman of faith. A warrior of God. This is the email she sent =)

"Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments
together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the
security gate, they hugged, and the mother said, 'I love you, and I pray you
enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than
enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I pray you enough, too, Mom.'

They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the
window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed
to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by
asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a
forever good-bye?'

'Well...I'm not as young as I once was, she lives so far away & has
her own busy life. I have some challenges ahead, and the reality is - her
next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I pray you
enough.' May I ask what that means?'

She began to smile. 'That's a prayer that has been handed down from
other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a
moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled
even more. 'When we said, 'I pray you enough,' we wanted the other person to
have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.'

Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were
reciting it from memory.

I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how
gray the day may appear.

I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and
everlasting.

I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may
appear bigger.

I pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Then, she began to cry, and walked away.

They say, it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them"

Job 5: 17-19

2009-05-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

"So, what a blessing when God steps in and corrects you!

Mind you, don't despise the discipline of Almighty God!

True, he wounds, but he also dresses the wound;

the same hand that hurts you, heals you.

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

no matter what the calamity, the evil can't touch you—

The Message

one of those moments

2009-05-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

RANDOM PICTURES!!

lastest pic a bit blur but

with jong hee

chelle!~ on he b'day

dena! bout a year ago =)

with anna when we were bored in math class

keith!~ when we hiked up bukhan mountain

hehehe....3 guys = makeover =)

mayyee right after she got her new hair

(a year ago)

ching ern after her new hair too =)

xianni!~ bored while preparing for hari muhibah

hehehe...3 of us hanging out in a motel =P
(a long long time ago)

namsan =))

(last year)

bes fren n tim!~ =))

(dunno how i got this pic =P)

heheee gotta love pc =))

( mid valley-some weird jap movie =P )

jim thinks he's a captain

joash!~ heheee

hehehe...ktm!~ =))

raya '08 at the embassy =)

have you had those moments
where you look at an old picture and then remember how much memories you had

you know those moments when get the feeling
its okay if i die now cause i know i'll die a happy person =))

sometimes...you just wish life had a pause button =))

don't you?

=) (=

미팅 이야기

2009-05-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

"미팅은 무엇입니까? "
미팅은 무엇인지 잘 모르면 괜찮다.
몰라도 된다.
모르면 오히려 좋은것이다

나 오늘 미팅해 보러 갔다
"뭔야 이게!!?" 라는 생각이 들었다
>.<
이번은 처음이고 마지막이다.

-끝-

=))) (((=

2009-04-28T06:10:00.000-07:00

i had a difficult week.

it was hard.

it is at times like that that i feel so surreal

simply being in Korea.

still learning to stand...

its not easy, but He's faithful!

standing by His promises.

call me foolish, call me reckless

i like where i am

with who i am

love this song.

spoke to me powerfully this week

it is so easy to be weak

but i take joy in that

for He's strongest when i'm weakest

and He rejoices in my weakness

cause He's my strong tower!!

화이팅!

hehehe

time for mathematics!!!!

Good Friday

2009-04-10T02:15:00.000-07:00

this post is titled Good Friday is simply because it is Good Friday today =)
but what i am about to say has got absolutely nothing to do with Good Friday=)
but i shall try to make it as relevant as possible =)
my post today, again, like most of the other post
will tell you a little bit more of less about myself yes,
because this blog apparently is about me =)
so, here goes.

i have to be honest, i have had my struggles with uni life
i learned new things about myself
i realized how it is true that people are all about the "i" that includes me =(
and no,
its doesn't make me feel any better that almost everyone is like that

i don't like myself when i get angry because i was being selfish
i don't like myself when i sulk
i don't like myself when i compromise my priorities
i don't like myself when i am unproductive

but then again, i love myself too much to dislike myself like that it would be unfair to those who who i love and to those who love me so much if i were to treat myself like that
(i like the fact that i am loved =)
so if you randomly want to drop by to say "i love you" please do =)
cause i love you too!~~ =) heeee)
so because of that, i have decided to change but i know i can't change if you guys aren't praying for me and backing me up =)

i like Yonsei, i like Yonsei a lot.
God has His plans I just got to believe and have faith that
He's in control and just let go =)

i thank God everyday for these 2 here
He's been gracious and
they've been awesome =)

He Inspires

2009-04-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

this is a man, ready to tell the world

who God is =)

and the hope that He gives

1 Peter 3 : 15 - but in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

i woke up feeling really crappy about myself

now i know,

why i shouldn't

i'm amaze by how He tells me stuff..

youtube...man!~

who thought God liked IT =P

heeeee

Hallelujah!~

see, that's me putting God in a box again >.<

God have mercy...

=)))))

someone might fall in love with you?

2009-03-22T08:43:00.001-07:00

i bet you guys must have read this before in one of that fowarded emails ;

"never stop smiling even when you are sad,

for you will never know who will be falling in love with that smile"

it got me wondering, why are you waiting for people to fall in love with you

while you smile away?

you smile, because you know that someone's already in love with you

you smile, for the person you love

you smile because you know its worth it

its not so much for someone to fall in love with you

but its because you know that there's already someone who loves you

SOOOO MUCH!~

that itself gives you a reason to smile

don't smile waiting

smile because someone's waiting to see you do so

Another Birthday Not Celebrated

2009-03-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

today's my ah pa's birthday.

well, at least it still is in Malaysia.

which counts since i'm malaysian

and my dad's malaysian.

just called him to wish him happy birthday!

but he was tired and he needed to rest.

yes, i know, the old man deserves his rest.

mom was too busy today.

so they just ordered pizza...

there wasn't even a cake...

i wish i was in malaysia...

so that i could've bought that cake...

and bring him to a fancy restaurant

where he can have fine dining

something he hasn't done in a long long time

something that he sacrificed for his children..

luxury which he could've afforded....

oh,

and it was his big 60 today...

i wish i was in malaysia right now...

i wanna sing that birthday song...

in korean,

for ah pa,

생일축하합니다

사랑하는 우리 아버지

생일축하합니다...

a senior asked me just now

did i miss home...

i told him

not anymore...

what's happening?

2009-03-14T11:08:00.001-07:00

yes yes, i know i promised to upload pictures the next night.

but as usual, uploading pictures never fails to mount on that last straw.

i don't know why!!!!!~~~

am i really that technologically incompetent?? ㅠ

sad story.

but sad stories aside, i had the weirdest week.

it was, a week of.......lateness???

i was late for literarily everything!

i was late for class, late for church, late for meetings, late for breakfast...

you just have to name it.

even the buses were like simply late....

and if its not that, it will be the traffic

but neither quite got to me thru the whole week..

Praise God!~ =)

whee!!~~

---------

irene's leaving tomorrow

keith's leaving on wednesday

gela left last tuesday

anna left last friday

...........

A Week of Unbelievable Strength!

2009-03-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

ohkay! this blog is supposed to be filled with pictures. but because i get worked up and distracted when i do it everytime, i'm just going to blog in this entry and post the photos in the next =)

let's dissect my week =)

Saturday (27/2) : i had the best fire by night. i cannot start to tell you the magic that God is doing in OEM, in Seoul, in Korea! but its BIG! its UGE! so guys, WAchT ouT! REVIVAL IS COMING!!! =))

Sunday : 937!!it was good. no AWESOME! had a small group. wasn't taxing =) had a supergreatawesomeheartpiercing sermon =) had dinner with ling yen and co =) went to sindorim to clean up ah see's house (thank you ah see and ah lim!! for your house =)) then decided to stay there since no one was going to stay over that night. so rushed home, packed my stuff and left again for ah see's place. spent the night chatting with vincent (japan vincent, you didn't lose you memory qihao=)) while cleaning the house. then i went to sleep =)

Monday : Went to the embassy in the morning (complete with suit and everything! i meant business! just in case you all didn't know yet, because of my korean i'm not able to take all my credit hours this semester, which means i've got to take summer and winter classes T.T its a long story, and so much more to it, but its not too interesting unless you are going thru it so i shall not attempt to explain it here=)) Went with En. Hanisan and asif (JFYI he's my "boss" he's like bureau 1 and i'm bureau 2 for academics and career) so 1st met with the Associate Dean of the engineering department. he was very understanding and promised he will do something to help ensure that we will be able take full credit hours next semester. but he said in the meantime we've got to meet this admin from the undergraduate school, which we did. because i met this admin guy once before, he knows pretty much what we were going thru. was having a small "debate" when he suddenly said this "i don't understand why are you so persistent in taking 18 credit hours this semester??" and i was like!!! *in my head* "weren't you listening!!!!!" *what i said* "sir, i'm not here to ask you to give me 18 credit hours this week but i just want you to ensure me that the next semester the same thing won't occur" (that's cause the wanted me to take their korean classes (which i've been taking for 1 year in SNU) and since i refused to take the classes i would have needed to take an exam, so if i don't pass that exam i pretty much will be stuck)so in the end, we did manage to talk things out =) and it was settled with everyone in merry moods =) got home, knocked out cause i was so tired, woke up, continued cleaning ah see's room and cooked chicken soup. 923 and hong xun came for dinner and it was a good one. after that, fly home again cause the i needed to pack the clothes for the next day's university "camp" and came back again after that to ah see's place to do the final cleaning up =)

Tuesday : woke up at 6. made sure everything was clean, packed up my things, made my breakfast, went to dena's house to give her chicken soup and fried rice and to borrow her jacket =) and finally made my way to uni to join the other to leave for a place called utophia youth hostel, for a "camp" =) when we got there, we were divided into groups etc etc then at night we had an introduction to the school's 동아리(is something like a society/persatuan) and had a super fun cheering session =) i sang along altho i didn't know the words =) at night, as usual, there was drinking =) but i thank God cause when i told them i don't want to drink, they were not only ok with it, they respected it and was looking for my back when someone tried to make me drink =)then i went to sleep at about 4 =)

Wednesday : woke up at 8. went for breakfast. some of the kids were still a little blur cause of the day before. we then had some games and went for lunch. seniors bought us ice creams. after lunch we went for group dicussions about how to do a skit for that night. then went for dinner. after dinner, they had the drama performances from each class =)after that, we had this thing were each group went to the other group's room and start cheering and see who wins. after they cheers, they sit down, mingle and drink. it was pretty interesting =) after all that, the next activity started. this is where there are 4 rooms. each room has got its own mission. among the missions were to finish 2 big boxes of chickadees without drinking a drop of liquid and another was to finish a certain amount of soju in an hour. so, that night, i went to sleep early. cause the sight of every was.........not very pleasant. but it was okay. i slept thru it peacefully. Praise God! =)

Thursday : because the day before, kids got so drunk, everyone slept till 11 something, skipping breakfast and everything. got on the bus at about 12 and left for Seoul =) once i got back at about 4, i hopped on a train and went straight to dongyang to meet my freshly arrived juniors!! helped with their orientation and everything finished at about 3. went to sleep at yuhan's place.

Friday : woke up at 7. went to see them again at dongyang. after they left for their expedition, met up with sang sonsengnim(he's getting married this june!!) to change the name for my phone but it didn't work. then had lunch with lee sonsengnim at VIPS with ching ern, may yee and kooi chen. after that, went to lotte mart to get the boxes to pack my stuff. got home, set up the boxes and left again for dongyang for junior's orientation. got home super late and started packing my stuff! it took the whole night and at about 6am the next day...

Saturday : went for junior's moral class. then flew back home to continue packing. mayyee stayed over and mengyang came to help. Thank God! after packing the truck came. put all my stuff on it with luke and ching ern's and off to yonsei's hostels we go!~ whooo!~ arrived and was super excited. the room is really nice =) unpacked a little, took a bath and went back to the junior's orientation. had their moral session with them and after that i gave out alot of signatures *ahem* heheee. after everything, took a taxi home with wei huan, shang hao and luke. got home, bought rubbish plastic bag and started to clean the house with dilla. but i was so tired from yesterday night, i passed out on the bed =)

Sunday : dilla woke me up at 7, i dropped back to sleep again and woke up at 11.35am. had such a good sleep =) after that, started really cleaning the house and just packing up everything that was left. meng yang came to help and hyong su came after cause he was complaining how bored he was. after the house was ready to be given to the juniors, we ordered pizza cause i was soooo hungry!!we ate, the juniors came and so we left. hyong su was sweet enough to help the junior girls carry their heavy luggage up 5 floors =) after that, both of us took the bus back to yonsei and i got home =) *note : from now onwards home means sinchon yonsei hostels =)* went for dinner with ching ern and another malaysian guy. after that, went back to boramae to join wei huan and shang hao to eat with edwin (my junior from sgi, taiping =)) went there talk talk talk then help luke move his stuff back to the hostel. when i got home, i've been trying to get online. called hyong su for help and he gave it so in detail that i'm now able to blog!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!

i've got no idea why am i not asleep right now. my neck hurts but i felt the urgency to blog this. so that you guys get like a complete picture! =) so that i can PRAISE GOD for all this strength! wheee!~~~ okay. i'm going to sleep already. my boxes are still unpacked. i thank God for blessing chingern as my roommate. so at least i know she's ok eventhough my boxes are lying everywhere half unpacked clustering the room =) cheers!!!!~~ whee!!~ pictures tomorrow!!!~~~~ =)))

p/s: long leh...who was complaining i didn't update my blog ha! =P i'm so nice =) cause it so long, i just hightlighted the isi =)

Turn To Jesus

2009-02-23T02:02:00.000-08:00

I, LOVE this song =)

Hermann Kim wrote it =)

he's the worship leader at my church =)

have been listening to it the whole day today=)

i wish i could get it in my ipod!

and i think these 2 girls are really cool =)

Jesus my SaviourMy Lord and My King

Insulted, rejected for all our sins

Knowing pain He went through it all

So I turn to Jesus He's there when I fall

Lord I need you

Lord I cry out to you

My only refuge from this world

Lord I need you

Lord I cry out to you

My only shelter

my hope and saviour

Jesus my comfort

my strength and my shield

Sorrow and sadness

He knows how I feel

Knowing my struggles

He went through it all

So I turn to Jesus

Who's been there before

i met someone interesting

2009-02-20T18:38:00.000-08:00

i met a friend, who's interesting.
we both like to think about stuff.
we both like to read random things.
yet we are 2 pretty different people.
different opinions,
different in personality,
different attitudes.
yet, still similar in an unexplainable way.
and the coolest part,
we're both trying to explain unexplainable things.
muahahahahaha
another gift from Him.
got no idea how long are we going to be friends.
but the one thing that i've learned here is
we don't make friends thinking how much longer are we going to remain friends.
but we make friends knowing that we both have made a difference
in each others live =)
new friend, 반갑다 =)

empathy

2009-02-06T03:50:00.000-08:00

okay..so...how does it feel to have empathy in you?

how doesn it feel to really be in someone else's shoes?

i'm curious...

i somehow cannot seem to really catch the essence of what a person is goin thru

like....i really suck at it

trust me

am i the one who is out of perspective?

o is it just never my gift?

hrm....

someone with the talent of empathy

educate me.

plz.

thankew

it has been a while

2009-01-24T03:27:00.000-08:00

Good day friends =)

I've missed you =)

i know it sounds like its not sincere
but trust me
it is =)

it really is
yes i know, it has been a while
do forgive me =)

i don't know what have i been doing with my time
hrm....but one thing i want to tell you all is
i'm now staying with a homestay family=)

and they are super nice
but, i've got no pictures to show
simply because i still don't have a camera yet
saving up to get a really good one =)

but, i do have this picture =)

this is hopefully my future boyfriend *rotflmao*

if you dunno who he is, you shall know when he tells me his name =)
(dunno what i'm talking about? its okay=) )

ta-da! group picture =)

hohoho!~ the picture speaks for itself =)
see my happy smiling face=)
wheee!!!

*swoon*
i've watched this guy on tv since i was a kid!!!!

too bad i didn't get any with lee chong wei cause i had to leave early during the semi finals

but i did get to tell him to do his best =)

and i got to say "hie" to chew choon eng, lee wan wah and choong tan fok =)

(nise, the cce pics if you want tell me ya) =)

and for those who haven't guess yet,

this was the Super Series over in Seoul a few weeks ago =)

it has been cold in Seoul! COLD!

but i'm surviving!

ah pa was worried i will freeze to death =)

if i've got nicer pics, i shall post it up for you all=)

luv ya=)

miss ya=)

muacks=)

last year's CNY pic with sonsengnims =)

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

(my 1st CNY away from home *sobs* angpau fly away liaw)

Joash, Happy Birthday!

2009-01-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

Tan Loh Joash!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! =)))

no cards.....

no gifts......

it doesn't mean i don't care

that it is you birthday okay!!!

i do =)

cause there's something else waiting for you

somewhere

something special =)

by the way

just in case you haven't noticed, this is no poem

but here's one :

five little monkeys

sitting on the wall

all of them monkeys

were waiting for bananas to fall

but this one little monkey

who wasn't very tall

thought to himself,

"from the sky bananas don't fall"

so he got up and plucked rambutans instead =)

i know it doesn't rhyme too well but..

i ain't no poet.

but i know i have the heart =)

TAN LOH JOASH!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

sincerely, unpoetically, me,

amy

p/s: i just realized i don't have a picture of us together =P

so FB was the best place =P

its the thought that counts kay =P

i know i suck =P

but i still love you my dear brother =)

-end-

what is it like to say "here i am"

2008-12-22T07:13:00.001-08:00

when God called Moses as he was tending the flock of Jethro,
Moses replied " here I am".
How many of us are truly ready to tell God "here I am"
and not doubt His voice when He calls?

Sacrifices were things that I heard only heard of
and tests were things that I only thought I knew about.
What is it like to have unfailing faith?
What is it like to have the honour to mutter the words "here i am"?
I can only pray that one day, I'll have such unfailing faith that
I would say the words "here i am"
without fear nor trembling in my voice.

to further prove my point

2008-12-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

i went in line skating today!!!!

at night

yes, in the midst of the cold weather.

my fingers froze but i had fun

learnt how to turn by crossing the legs

learnt how to U-turn

i fell twice on my butt but

my neck hurts but

sifu! i'm going to train hard

sensing my happiness by now?

P/S : i'm now officially 연세人 *giggles*

blunt

2008-12-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

dearest pinky, mel, jing, rin, nise, g, tni and sher li

i just realized how much you guys have put up with me thru the many years of being with me. and by that i mean my bluntness, how i'm never too good at picking up hints and emotions. how i can be so insensitive to emotions. heehee ( i think tni was the 1st to taste my bluntness cause she'll never let me forget how i made her cry when we were in standard 6 when i passed a comment on how her hair look like aunty's hair *rotfl* )

sometimes looking back i can't believe i'm still that slow. i think i'm mentally retarded somewhere. but you guys still love me the same. and i love you all too =)

*muacks*

tell me when you solve it

2008-12-10T00:33:00.000-08:00

3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30,
SO EACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.
A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALISED THE ROOM WAS ON SPECIAL AT ONLY $25, SO HE SENT THE BELLBOY TO RETURN THE $5.
ON THE WAY, THE BELL BOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLYBETWEEN 3 MEN,
SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER
$2 FORHIMSELF.
THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM,
WHICH IS A TOTAL OF$27,
ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.

WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?

p/s : i'm still trying to figure it out

all i want for christmas

2008-12-02T06:45:00.001-08:00

is to be able to buy at least 10 blankets

i lost my phone?

2008-11-23T06:53:00.000-08:00

this brings back soooo many memories....
like i literarily can hear my mom's voice ringing in my ears right now...it actually feels weird that she isn't here right now to give me a lecture.
i have always been a "tai tau har" (big head prawn? O.o)
i used leave things here and there and everywhere and my mom usually is the sweetest lady to pick up after me. cause i always, almost without fail, forget where i leave them. i think its due to my very short attention span, like how i can be doing one thing and something else comes along and i abandon the very thing i'm doing and go do something else (is this a syndrome?do i need help? O.o)
anyway, mom will always go like "ngo mou ngan tai lei la. so big ad but still like that. haih...."
and so to prove her pretty much wrong (the one thing i amuse myself in doing) i've kept my phone and purse safe with me, never losing it even once since i came to korea.
but, God always has His wonderful ways of telling us mom's always right.

so....

i lost my phone tonight. left it on the bus.
hopefully i get it back!
cheers people! =)

by the way... am super busy these days. that is if anyone still comes to read =P

after so long....

2008-11-03T05:50:00.000-08:00

"see, the thing is, i still don't know his name and guess what,
i don't think i want to know anymore =)))"

Yesterday night, was my 1st annual dinner (yes, the legendary one) over here, I got a nice piece of chocolate strawberry tart=)

Thanks Stephen Chow. By the way, I thought you were someone I knew from Malaysia, but I stand corrected. Please do tell me who you are okay… as requested on the message, i'm updating my blog *cheers*

I don't have much to say. Just that now the trees are all turning from yellow to shades of red and orange and they look really really breathtaking. Sometimes it still feels rather surreal that I'm actually really on a foreign land. I mean, I've always dreamt of studying abroad and I'm here. Wow! See! God's goood =))))

Okay, I'll just show you pictures of a few people since I've suddenly become one of little words =))

they are my mentors, kak syira and buya.

you might remember them if you go back a few post. its their last year here =((

all the best both of you!!!

Okay, this guy's name's Chian Ping.
He was among the SGI boys that trained the SMC basketball team year 02/03. "ka che"'s friend. Met him when I was like a kid. And now here I am. How small can this world get?

This was taken when we were about to go back.
Wenning looks gorgeous, no?
Actually everyone looked good that night.

may yee and chan hang *grins*

chiang ge.
used to look like nnoitra. but not anymore since he no longer has the hair.
note to chiang ge : i think you hair looks nicer like that.

that's all folks. i'm doing great, just in case anyone was wondering. am putting on weight steadily. which is a good and a bad thing. its a good sign that i'm eating well and a bad sign that i need to exercise!!! notice the round face? *rotfl*

p/s: jing, i think i look like sano-kun in this picture! BABY!!! *rotfl*

i'll talk to him tomorrow

2008-10-21T08:44:00.000-07:00

and tomorrow never comes. *rotfl*

exams are 24 hours away and my mood for blogging is better than ever!!
not that i have anything worthy to blog about =))

so....

lemme tell you about a japanese boy who's studying on the same floor as i am.
i think he's japanese. though may yee thinks he's chinese, i think i heard him speak jap before. he's this 7 feet tall boy with a cute face who doesn't talk much.
whenever its time for a break, he'll come out of his class, walk towards the water machine and drinks cups and cups of water....then he sits on this bench sofa right in the middle of the corridor, with an expressionless look on his face, stare into space and when times up, he just gets up and walks back into class.
can't remember when i started to notice him but....ever since i did, i simply felt like knowing him...(호감이 있나?글쎄)....
anyway...i tell luke everyday that i'll talk to him tomorrow. i've been telling that to luke for the past month. i still don't know his name.... 실패 >.<

i feel like i'm back in high school... lol!!!!

Passion Seoul

2008-10-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

okay...so it is a little late. but it is never too late to write about God's goodness =)

Passion Seoul was a wake up call for me. It has been a long time since I ever jumped and danced and just sing my heart out during a worship service. I've learnt much from passion. Among them is the reason that for me being here. Right here. In Seoul, Korea.

Passion was something that I completely didn’t know of neither did I plan on going for it. But somehow, I ended up at the tents set up outside the Olympic Gymnasium and buying my ticket, on that Friday night. When I walked in, Chris Tomlin just started worship. I found myself a seat at the floor and started to sing the songs that I knew so well. Chris Tomlin also sang 1 of his new song; Sing, Sing, Sing and a rendition of God Of This City. Then there was the sermon by Pastor Louie Giglio about “God’s Grace”.

See, here’s the funny thing. A few months back, I was asking Jim, what is grace and why is it so important. He did try to explain it but I never quite caught the whole idea of grace till that night. It was rather overwhelming because when I look back, it was among the many of my prayers that God answered thru passion. Ah…..His Grace =)))

After the message, Tomlin continued worship and this time singing “How Great Is Our God” (some parts is Korean…cool =P) and another new one “Jesus Messiah”. I’ve sang “How Great Is Our God” quite a number of times in church but that night, the words brought to me a fresh new meaning and as I sang each word – How. Great.Is.Our.God! - I felt warm tears running down my cheeks. I went home that night all pumped up for the next day!
So, on day 2, Matt Redman led worship in the morning. What more can I ask for than to be able to worship and jump and rejoice in Him in the morning? After worship, Pastor Francis Chan continued from where Pastor Louie left of the other night. He was so animated and his message struck deep. In the afternoon after lunch, David Crowder Band came on to lead worship. Man….it was definitely an experience. Their worship songs aren’t like those that you normally here. But it was super awesome nonetheless =)

Pastor Francis preached again. This time telling us it reiterating how grace cannot come thru hard work and we work and serve because we’re Caught by Grace and not For Grace. He also reminded us about His Promises. The night session was like a concert that would rock the Heavens. It started off with David Crowder Band, and then Pastor Louie preached (this time about our purpose and how we can honor Him in everything that we do =)). After the message, Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman were singing together and there it was. Everyone jumping, singing, shouting their hearts out!

The whole thing left me speechlessly filled with so much joy and happiness I am still smiling now even as I write about it =)

Oh and on Sunday, Pastor Francis preached in church. And this time, he spoke about peace. Wooooow! I simply walked out of church with such a huge smile stuck on my face all week thru my friends would always double check whether did I take too much sugar in the morning. I only shared about this with Anna and Michelle.

I’m going to be here for the next 5 years. And I’m more excited about it than i had ever been =)

Praise God!

that feeling of peace

2008-10-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

is a gift only God can give.

when the things around quiet down and you are the only one standing there,

without any thoughts running through you mind,

and the only thing you can sense is this peace,

this calmness that is beyond words,

look up into the heavens,

with a smile and say

"Thank You"

with a grateful heart.

what happened, you ask?

2008-09-28T06:36:00.000-07:00

you know why i haven't been updating?

that's cause 5급 is no joke. its heavy.....same goes to evening classes.

but my God's grace, i'm making it thru... =)

so what happened after me birthday....

we went to this place called chung chon...

am happy to be alive =)

simply mingled.

took some serious time to think....

then after the holidays came back, celebrated chang ve's b'day then lian zhen's then may yee's

happy birthday again to all 3 of you!

oh and to xian ni! her's comin up.

house floor got renovated (it was leaking....)

stayed over at dena's for like i dunno how many days *thanks dena*

then now i'm back.

i've still got a love story to write. in korean >.<

now the one thing that has been on my mind all this while has been

friends.

i don't know why. but i've thought much about it over the past weeks.

when i think of it, it can reduce me to tears at times.

sometimes i simply feel like giving up looking and just stop.

i used to feel safest with when i'm with them.

but i guess, things just change.

and when they do, they simply fall apart.

bah

you'll probably think i'm problematic.

i'm not. or at least i don't think i am.

anyway...

i've still got my homework to do. i wanna do it tomorrow.

but...i have to finish it tonight.

its 12.42

by the way mel, sorry for not having pics up

too lazy to upload.

that is, if you read all the way down here to read my sorry =D

being 19

2008-09-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

people ask...how does it feel being 19?? it feels not much different. just you suddenly realise you've only got one year to grow. and the dateline is real and this time you cannot procrastinate anymore. a friend asked me, "so, you're gonna grow up in one year huh?". well, yeah....
no more rollercoaster emotional rides!
no more making noise in public!
no more over reacting!
no more crying over spilled milk!
no more disappointments!
no more walking aimlessly and wishing a car would run me over!
no more negative thoughts!
no more making other people sad!
enough! one year....yes. one year is all it'll take and one year is all i have. with Him everything is possible!
yup...
that's to being 19!~
cheers!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKY!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-04T07:45:00.000-07:00

the day you received your confirmation =)
when we were 15, you said you wanted to watch malaysian idol ^^

when we were 16, we decided to get drunk during christmas in mel's house =D
when we were 17, a phone call and we were in ipoh ^v^

Rivers of Wisdom....when where tired to lead a bunch of kids in camp @.@ LOL!!!
our 1st karate tournament together! and check out the medalS!

hehehe....i remember cropping this picture.... ROTFL !!!!! >.<

and there we go showing off our medals again! if only we had fighters for the boys catogories...

the bigger stage! SUKAN PERAK! whoish!~ equally as many medals =D)))

ng xin khai's missing from this photo but who cares ^.^

dearest pinky, you're officially 18 today =)

hehehe

happy b'day gurl!~

i can't send a card back to you in time so i'm bloggin 1st

card shall reach later with yr pressie if everything goes well =))

we've been thru much together

but in the end, we still had to part.

it was difficult at 1st. and i still miss your company much.

the times when we shiok shiok sit motor and go lepak around the town.

go anywhere anytime we like.

go siang malam and yum char eat nasi lemak.

go play badminton, (which sometimes is tennis, ping pong, basketball, jogging) then go makan breakfast (at lian thong T.T )

go karate together.

went for sukan perak!~

go camp.

so much....i can barely list a quater of them.....

we shall do all these again when i get home!!!!

miss you and love you lots my friend!!!!~~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM YI PHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

taking up my cross

2008-08-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

it is never easy to take up my cross and lay down my life completely before Him. but,i shall never give up, cause He's never given up on me. see that guy up there? yes, he fell short of God's glory. All of us are pretty much the same. that's why Jesus has become the everlasting brigde over that crack. this,however, doesn't mean i can simply go cutting my cross shorter, okay....Jesus could have broke the cross in half or even turn that heavy cross into a light one. but He didn't therefore no one has the right to compromise. fair? yes, it definitely is.

*amen*

identity crisis

2008-08-24T07:15:00.000-07:00

"read this with the fast staccato tone that i always talk to you guys with. cause that's how i feel right now. even if that's how i usually talk to you people"O.o

lemme tell you what happened today. i went to church as usual, served, and went for the membership course. so yes. the membership course. i take it as an opportunity to meet new people, learn new things and at the same time be in the process of being a member of Onnuri English Ministry.

you see, there's this one part where you are asked to fellowship around during the course, which is held once a week. i was like...okay. its easy right. i mean you go around, bring your question card, say hie, your name, his/her name, ask yr question, answer the question given to you, swap your cards and say "nice to meet you". yeah...not difficult at all. no, not at all.

but somehow, there was something about today's fellowship that made me go back to my seat, face feeling all hot ( i don't know whether was it because i felt like i made a fool out of myself, or i made a fool out of myself....bah ). lemme try to recall the names of the people i met today. chris, anry, jangyen, don, pastor eddie and trammy. okay, i've got a good memory.

so where does the identity crisis part comes in, you ask. well, it came in when i met chris. this was the 1st time i heard this question, "so are you from malaysia, singapore or indonesia?" i was like O.o (manglish) "what? ape ni? how did he guess? he psychic zit? i mean how? what? huh?" i was speechless for a moment. i mean, yeah i know i am malaysian but i didn't know how to answer. seriously. crap. fine. finally i found my tongue. and that dude pours out about how his dad's from KK and mom from ipoh (weh, near taiping man). i was like O.o again. so he's chinese-malaysian-canadian. alright. there goes to show how small this world is. and how big my brain capacity is. it gets *bbzzz*ed by something like this. great.

there's more, yes, there is. when i met pastor eddie, the question was "describe your personality in 6 adjectives" -.-" i didn't even use adjectives. i even "ciplak"-ed chris (that was my 1st question to him) urgh.....it took me sooooo long to answer that question!!!!shows how much i don't know myself. or mebbe it was because i was talking to the pastor. i don't know.

yes, as you can read right now, i'm a little frustrated with myself. i don't know how to describe myself, and someone just told me i've got a strong accent. that was how he knew i was malaysian. i have a love hate relationship with my accent. i love it so much cause it makes me malaysian i hate it cause people cannot seem to understand my english over here!!!
help?? pray for me people!! serious!!

cheerRRRSS!!!!!!

p/s: did you know majority of the english speaking society in korea is clueless what "carpark" means (esp when you pronounce it like "kapak" rotfl.hehehe) its called a "PARKING LOT" people!! not "kapak" >.<

p/p/s : i miss you (mom, dad, che, amanda ooi, avryl ooi, pinky, mel, jing, nise, erin, g, tian wei, joash, CA, billy, fei ba, chin gian, everyone who i miss ( i cannot type anymore if not i'm not going to finish my homework)

To 이선미 선생님, 우리 어머니 ^^

2008-08-21T03:56:00.000-07:00

The 1st time i met her, we were complete stangers speaking completely different languages. i've got no idea how did i even started talking to her. i mean the 1st thing we learnt was "이것은 무엇입니까?" (what is this? ) we didn't even know how to say "제 이름은 ㅇㅇㅇ 입니다" (my name is OOO )

But i guess this is how God does things. He puts us in such situations that allows us to learn, things that we never thought we would, to shape us, to get us ready. the best part is, in everything He puts me in, He blesses me with blessings that i can never be able to finish listing.

One thing i can tell you ,though, is that this lady is among the blessings given to me. her name's lee sunmi. she's my korean lecturer. she just left on a plane this morning back to malaysia to teach our juniors. i'll miss her lots.

We have had the best time with her. Both, when we were back in intec and in korea. when we were in intec, whenever we had time in our hands, we'd drive all the way to Intekma to invade kim sonsengnim's and her place (cause their apartments were right above one another's back then *ahem* ) we'd stay over and when we woke up, she'd have breakfast prepared and everything. how i miss those days..... here's a pic when i fell into the drain at cemara before going to her house >.<

Even after coming to Korea, she often looked out for us. to check how we're adapting to our new lives, how our university applications were getting around. she cared for us like any mother would and hanged out with us everytime we asked her out. once, she even invited us to her place! and we had a party there! (with kim sonsengnim *ahem*)

Not going to get to hang out with her until next year. sad. but we'll keep in touch!
this was her last message to me :

큰 딸~! 지금은 자고 있겠지? 설마 또 보라매 공원에서 농구를 하고 있지는 않을 거라 믿고.. ^^ 말레이시아에서도 생각했던 거지만.. 역시 한국생활에 빨리 적응하고 잘 지내는 모습 보면서 기뻤어.. 지금까지처럼 그렇게 씩씩하게 또 즐겁게.. 한국에서 좋은 추억 많이 만들기를 바랄게.. 단, 너무 늦게까지 공원에 있는 건 안된다~~~~!! 무엇보다 건강 조심하고.. 하나님께서 에이미를 잘 지켜주시리라 믿어... 행복하고..

May the Lord always be with her and bless her lots!~

p/s : more pics

girls at lotte world

shabu shabu at idae

watching olympics on dena's hp. chong wei vs. hyun il!

Korean Food Festival 2007

our 1st class with her in intec! 가 반

lst but not least. 1st time taking photo with sonsengnim

THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN AWESOME TEACHER cum MOTHER ^^

uneven cheeks

2008-08-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

while walking home from wei huan's house this morning, i saw 2 small kids on a bicycle. the elder sister was trying to fetch her younger brother, who was about her own size. i was so amused and absorbed at watching both of them trying to move the bike that when i turned back to continue walking, my face hit something super hard. it was then that i noticed i walked straight into a lamp post >.<

i thought they only happened in the movies. now when i smile, my cheek bones hurt. and i think my cheeks look uneven. stupid lamp post >.<

playing with fire

2008-08-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

i like to play with fire. cause it is simply fascinating. i still get very amused everytime i get to do that "magic" thingie with the lighter. there's this thing about the fire that just makes it so....attractive. no?

so bright, so tempting yet so dangerous. many people like to play with fire knowing pretty well they are going to get burnt. what's so nice? if you don't get burnt, you get that nice feeling that you've achieved something. maybe.

i don't know. i don't want to play with it anymore. but its so tempting.........urgh.......need to learn to control myself. remember....its dangerous to play with fire......cause it might just burn you alive.

you shall reap what you sow

2008-08-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

you warned me

i didn't listen

you told me not to go

i went

you told me "stop!"

i continued

now, i sit here,

feeling empty

dear Father,

i'm sorry

teach me to follow

change my heart

change my wants

i'm sick and tired

of the everytime i fail

to make the right choice

knowing that its there

yet letting it go

but when i make the right choice,

Lord,

thank You for everyday

that is filled with Your joy

*Amen*

i miss you . period .

2008-08-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

until a year ago, i saw these faces everyday. it never quite occured to me that i will miss them. guess that was the lesson that i had to learn.

i love all of you!

che & ah pa

mom!!

amanda ooi a.k.a sau mang kai

avryl ooi a.k.a fei mui

The Concept of Face

2008-07-30T04:33:00.000-07:00

hehehe....Malaysians and the key to harmony. stumbled upon it on a website. only found in Malaysia. also translates to "jaga air muka" and "si ai bin".....hehehe

The Concept of Face

Malays, Chinese and Indians all strive to maintain face and avoid shame both in public and private. Face is a personal concept that embraces qualities such as a good name, good character, and being held in esteem by one's peers. Face is considered a commodity that can be given, lost, taken away, or earned. On top of this face also extends to the family, school, company, and even the nation itself.

The desire to maintain face makes Malaysians strive for harmonious relationships.
Face can be lost by openly criticizing, insulting, or putting someone on the spot; doing something that brings shame to the group; challenging someone in authority, especially if this is done in public; showing anger at another person; refusing a request; not keeping a promise; or disagreeing with someone publicly. Conversely, face can be saved by remaining calm and courteous; discussing errors or transgressions in private; speaking about problems without blaming anyone; using non-verbal communication to say "no"; and allowing the other person to get out of the situation with their pride intact.

A Continuation - The Irony

2008-07-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

the following is a small spin off from jim's sweat syndrome
Okay, so here's the irony.
The "sweat"est person i knew just wrote a blog about it to justify himself...
hehe...that the irony.

A Futile Attempt At Nothing

2008-07-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

She stirred as the phone by her pillow vibrated.

"1 new message", was written on the screen.

With her eyes half open, she slid her phone and read the message. A small smile and giggle escaped. The sweetness of the message lulled her to sleep once again, with a smile on her face.

She awoke the next morning, feeling refreshed.

"Was it a dream?"

She checked her phone again to confirm. True enough, the message was there, hiding safely in her inbox. As the feeling of happiness started to rise again, a voice rang in her head,

"You know it don't you. The two of you can never be together. He's not the one for you."

"But....but why?"

"He's too different. You know how it works. You're no Mother Theresa, you know."

"No. I'll make it work. He'll definitely change for me. I just need to ask him to."

"Just don't get your hopes up."

As she stood there, she recalled all the happy times they had together. The times when they spoke about everything to anything and laughed about nothing. As sweet as they were, they shall remain a memory and nothing more. Yes. Things should stay the way the are. Society should run the way it should as destiny takes its place.

She closed her eyes. With a sigh, she opened them again, slid open her phone and deleted the message.

* * *

i can't narrate for nothing. this is getting depressing.....

happy moments

2008-07-10T10:08:00.001-07:00

if i could take every happy moment in my life and keep it so safe that it will never have a chance slip away from my mind, my happiness graph will be shooting sky high.
i'd share every moment with you, you and you. and you'd be as happy as i am.

*no wonder digital cameras sales are shooting sky high. and i still don't have one >.<*

kill all the bad people

2008-07-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

would this world be a happier place if we killed all the bad people?

when the truth isn't what you expect

2008-07-07T04:05:00.000-07:00

have you ever had the feeling of wanting to know something so badly and when you know it you immediately feel you never knew anything about it?
or maybe someone tells you something bad about another who you really care about?
(which turns out to be true?)
life never quite dishes out what we want it to but it doesn't stop us from wanting it to give us want we want.
so, when it happens, you look up to the heavens, smile and thank God that tomorrow's another day with full of possibilities.

finding rest in Him

2008-06-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

Matthew 11:28-30 : "Come with me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

These are the words of the Lord, His promise. This summer holiday is that promise fulfilled. Four months has passed since the time I said good bye to my beloveds. For four months, it has been crazy. Time flew. I had to greet the sun before I could take a peek at the moon. I was tired. I really was exhausted physically, mentally and spiritually.

But then came the one week summer holidays. Everyone went to the east of korea but anna and myself signed up for a 3-day retreat programme organised by the church. The theme was "A Whole New You". It was part of the INTO programme by onnuri church. Here's the best part, it was in mandarin! As in, the worship was in mandarin, the messages were in mandarin etc etc. Anna became my translator and thank God when the korean pastor came, he translated the more difficult words into english.

so, what exactly did i learn ?
i learned

that i'm extremely blessed and have got no reason to complain much about anything.
that eventhough i want something really badly, its okay to give it up because i've got a God way bigger than any of those things.
that everyday is a war with the devil.
that God's timing is always the best.
that He never fails to answer every prayer.
that when He's 1st, things might get scary but, everything will definitely fall into place.
that this life is not about me, Me, ME

i got more than i bargained for. and that's how God is. He fills you up till you're overflowing. the place we stayed in was awesome. was tired after the camp but came home spritually refreshed! AMEN!

cheers!~

p/s: i also found out that china people don't understand "hou liao" or "kheng" you're supposed to use "hen ppang" o "hou li hai" *laughs*

what you learn when you're up late

2008-06-22T13:33:00.000-07:00

so, what do you talk about when you're out till 5 in the morning?

as usual, we talk about shit again. this time, if your shit in black, then you've gotta be careful. the reason being, your colon might be bleeding and most probably is.

here's another theory that popped out. if you are a girl and the hair on your arm is longer than usual, it usually indicates that you're "hiaw" ( which is rather similar to flirtatious ). but from what i know, it usually means the girl is on the prettier side of the scale *laughs*

then comes another linking the 2 theories together. when you've got long hair along your arms, you'll be pretty and pretty girls are "hiaw" *eeekkkk*

what comes next is, don't ride you bike up a hill with undigested burger king in your stomach. you'll most probably puke it out again.

last but not least, if you don't study, at least take the effort to put on an act. its better for you and your peer who work their asses off everday.

i'm sleepy.

cheers people!!~~~

we talked about....

2008-06-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

shit today during our batch celebration. shit = crap, no. the shit i mean here is literarily shit. it all started with dena. i've got no idea did she observe it or did she read it from somewhere. but as we were eating our brunch cum dinner, she suddenly talked about shit.

so how do we know you've been eating your greens thru your shit? well, apparantly, if you eat a lot of vegetables, your shit floats and when you eat too much meat, it sinks. and if you eat the right balance, the vege side of the shit will float and the meat side of it will sink.
yes, that was what dena talked about today

cheers!~

life of gratitude

2008-06-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24 : 16 Be joyful always; 17 pray continually; 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
19 Do not put out the Spirit's fire; 20 do not treat prophecies with contempt. 21 Test everything. Hold on to the good. 22 Avoid every kind of evil.
23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

this is the bible verse for today in a book "a daily walk in the word - our journey".
give thanks in all circumstances and not throw mud onto God's gifts for everyday is a gift from God as it is by his grace that i am have a computer to blog, eyes to read and a good brain to think. it is also by his grace that you have a computer to read blogs, and fingers to type comments *cackles*.Amen.

cheers!

when the egg hatches

2008-06-09T01:53:00.000-07:00

batch 83 is about to turn 1 soon. and that's how long we've been nestling in the egg, waiting to hatch. coming here, our journey has been meticulously planned. from graduating from Intec to boarding the plane to Korea to entering SNU. we've done everything as an egg. we got ragged as an egg, we attended PPMK activities as an egg .....

but, soon, this egg is going to hatch, (i can already see the big crack) and that is the time we spread our wings. that is also when we learn catch our own worms, go meeting other chicks ( ironically for the guys ), get our feathers primped nicely .....

and when the egg finally hatches completely, we get to know each other better, we like each other better than others and for some of us, we actually end up with each other *gives an all knowing smile*

but when that happens, there may be hearts that are completed but there are also hearts that get on the tougher end. looking on the bright side, either way, we end up being better people.

so, when the egg hatches, let us spread our wings and fly as high as we can, despite the fact that chickens being birds can't fly that high after all. let's enjoy life and stay out of the slaughter house in hannam. we wouldn't want to be chickens flown home on an aeroplane.

to the hatching egg,

cheers!~~

wanna share an umbrella?

2008-06-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Korea's been raining a lot lately. the surprising thing is, i actually bring an umbrella out wherever i go, just in case, and that' something i never did back in Malaysia. i didn't like bringing things just in case. i even bring water out with me these days so that i don't need to buy it when I'm feeling thirsty. mom used to do that job. maybe that's a sign of independence or simply because things in Seoul is way too costly.

what happened today? to cut the long story short, as i was walking to church, i saw a man without an umbrella who came down from the same train as i did. when i saw him being the only person around without an umbrella, something made me want to ask him "wanna share?".i hesitated. and finally decided alright, I'll ask him. the problem was, he was walking super fast and i had to jog a little to catch up at the corner.

just right at that moment, i gathered just enough guts to ask , "wanna share the umbrella?" and
he went, "yeah" with a big warm smile.
i was relieved.
his name is Malcolm, a Canadian an English teacher in Korea and he bought his watch from Malaysia.
there, he's the first person i got to know from the church that I've been attending for 3 months. *shrinks* *thinks of CA*

i think its pretty obvious i was alone, he actually invited me to join him during the service. service today was good, but i was super tired that at the last prayer time, i failed to stay awake with my eyes closed. *eeekk*

he wanted to invite me to dinner with some of the other church members after the service but before he asked, i announced that i have an exam on Monday. so much for dinner *laughs*
I'm just thankful that i got to know a person from church.
i don't like opening my mouth to strangers but that question i asked Malcolm made a difference on how i look at things.

so, the next time it rains and you don't have an umbrella and if you see me, don't hesitate to share *smiles*

cheers!~

jiuvesengtze

2008-06-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

that ladies and gentlemen....

is the name of my new computer.
its may sound bodoh but what the heck *smiles*

this post is a post to thank the 3 sweet gentlemen

who took the effort to help me buy

my computer

Gentleman number 1 : Luke Tan Tee Jiu

thankew for the internals of my computer. and also for waking up *laughs*
p/s: this picture makes me feel sad that ttj is not tall *rotfl* the picture very "sat" in his words

Gentleman number 2 : Cheah Chang Ve

thankew for having the patience to sit down at 3 shops and carrying the cpu all the way and the for being the one who kept saying "we needta discuss, decide and focus" if not we wouldn't be able to get back in time. *smiles*

Gentleman number 3 : Ku Er Seng

thankew for being the 1st to offer to help and carry my monitor and walk and walk and talk and talk and stopping to watch the movies on the laptops *grins*

of course i had to put my name in it =) i did make a few decisions and did the paying part *grins* asides from that, i felt like a "dai siu che". so rare but nice *laughs*

but i want to thank most the one person who blessed me with these 3 people *smiles*

THANKEW!~

so that's all folks. since i don't have the funds to buy them dinner or anything like that, a post on my blog looks good enough. (despite the fact that is may look like i'm doing an advertisement to advertise them *laughs* )

yay!~my 1st blog from jiuvesengtze

and yes luke tan tee jiu, it is gentlemanly enough already *thumbs up*

cheers to many blogs to come

*grins so wide that you can see my molars*
*sense my excitement*

The Road Not Taken

2008-06-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The only reason why anyone should know this poem is simply because, its in our syllabus. form 4. that purple book which writes in front "Short Stories and Poems" ( which i stupidly forgot to bring along when i came )

In the poem, the persona takes "the one less traveled by" and because he did "that has made all the difference". However, more often than not, people have got the propensity to take the one more traveled by. You know, because its safer, it ensures a better future....or simply cause that's what "they" said.

Alright, maybe you've been a dare devil all your life. You stand out in a crowd because you said no when everyone else said yes; follow your dreams although the world tells you you will be doomed if you do...etc.

When i meet someone like you, i cannot help but be a little envious. Its simply because, you'll be able to experience that difference that your choice made. An experience unique to yourself. That 70% of the society haven't felt before.

Well, i know i took the road more traveled by. I don't know whether is it going to make all the difference or not. It is easier now to look back and think of the countless "what ifs" if i would have chosen the road not taken. The one where the grass are still green and "wanted wear".

Let's see, if I did, I would most probably in Sarawak right now, to be exact Batu Lintang, learning how to Teach English as a Second Language and be a UK bound student

or studying business and hanging out with the rich brats in Sunway University College, playing pool at Asia everyday (i wouldn't complain though)

or maybe be in INTI Nilai and be a contingent for Perak in SUKMA *grins*

but,
*the dream cloud disappears*
neither of it happened. Instead, here i am, in my small attic house in Seoul, Korea, looking through a pair of pink glasses, reminiscing about the past and a pair of binoculars, thinking about what the future holds.

Many are the choices but one is the choice. its ironic how the many choices will cease to exist without the existence of the one choice that has to be made. However, when ones makes a choice, its not the ramifications of the choice that determines whether it is a good or bad choice but how we choose to deal with the ramifications that will make "all the difference".

For me, i know i will always have a big BIG God who will help me deal with it. Who watches my back for wolves and knows every "bent in the undergrowth".

You know, the worst thing one can do is to regret ever taking the road one took and think that its possible to walk all the way back to the fork and the take the other path instead.

Well, i have definitely taken the road more traveled by and i have definitely met many people along that road who reaffirms me that the road that i took will make "all the difference" because, in the very beginning of the road, it already did.

i miss my home

2008-05-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

i love Malaysia. and i am proud to be a Malaysian. serious.
thanks for the video dan!~
enjoy fellow Malaysians
*smiles*

cheers!

i want to talk about a particular crush

2008-05-29T05:20:00.000-07:00

*ahem*

only those of you who have been with me since i've been in taiping will pretty much know who i am talking about.
dearest jing, g, teeni, mel, pinky, rin, nise and sui ying (if you girls are reading this) you all most probably know who i'm talking about *smiles*

so, to those who don't know who is he, then you shall know him as Mr. F. *smiles*

why do i want to blog about him? that's simply cause after such a long time, i took a peek at his friendster profile and it made me laugh. the thought that i once thought i liked this guy.unbelievable! *laughs*

alright, let's see where do i start. i got to know him when we were 14 through irc ( if you don't know what it is then...too bad ). he is my english teacher's son *ahem* who somehow knew when to say what. when you are 14 and if you are me, well, you tend to like things like that.

long story cut short, i had a crush on him for 3 years. wasn't the best 3 years of my life, but i definitely learnt not to be that stupid again. it was a waste of my time, energy and water. when did i stopped liking him? when i did something stupid and left taiping for intec. *laughs*

i just noticed just now, how different we both really are.

thank God!

*cheers*

when you've got cool mentors

2008-05-27T05:25:00.001-07:00

enter the korean house

from left : buya ; kauthar ; kak syira ; azma ; me

photographer : ian

in the house

hanbok!

that's ian.

yes, i liked the wearing the hanbok *smiles*

sense my excitement that i wore a hanbok yet?
*laughs*

curtsy!

my mentors *ahem* he's in a wedding hanbok and a girl wears a red hanbok for weddings.... *ahem* go figure. *cackles*

that's how you make green tea

how to drink tea :
1) bring the cup up and enjoy the color
2) smell it
3) taste it
4) make sure your drink it in 3 sips
5) make sure your back is straight while doing this

*laughs*

that's korean pancake for you. i think i made that. it tasted good *grins*

i might have spoiled the picture, but then again....

and yes..that was the end of my 1st trip with my mentors and co.

cheers!

yesterday

2008-05-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

someone told me i should update my blog more often. so here i am updating my blog on the events that happened yesterday.

hrm...lets see. in the morning, went somewhere beyond Seoul for the 1st time *cheers* the place was called the botanical garden of BCJ (www.bcj.co.kr - shall upload pictures later ) the place was full of flowers and beautiful sceneries.

wasn't a big place but it was nice. used a huge cool camera and started to act like i knew how to take pictures *bleakh* then went to yoeido for lunch, which was delicious, and after that went to chongno 3-ga to meet my mentors.

hah! as i thought the fun was about to end, how wrong i was i. when i got off the train, i sat on the bench at the subway waiting for everyone to arrive when suddenly an old man with a cane comes over and start saying something in Korean. blame my bad listening, i couldn't comprehend what that old man was saying. the only word i heard was, "haksaeng" which meant student. it didn't take long when he started shouting at me and the girl beside me suddenly got up and ran away. and then the old man sat down right beside me. i wanted to run! i mean i should have ran! but i was rooted and my butt felt glued to the stupid bench. then i finally figured he asked me to give him my seat *eeek* imagine my humiliation and i kept repeating ching ern's words in my head, "aiya, they don't know you. don't care so much". so i continued waiting while reading "my sister's keeper". then the old man asked me, politely this time, am i not korean? and i sad no, with a face that showed much fear, guilt and humiliation and he laughed with his friends who were there *eeek - ching ern's words*

imagine my relief when my mentor finally called! i ran out of the exit at once. and turned out, i was on the wrong subway line, meaning wrong exit. so walked and walked looking for buya and kak syira (me mentors). when i finally found them, we continued walking. then we ended up in this very jonker street like place called insadong. pretty cool. to the peeps back home, i know where i can stuff for you guys already when i finally get back the next time.

instead of stopping by shops and having a look around, we continued walking, and i was wondering where were we going, when we finally ended up in a place with the the sign up front "yoo's family house" and i was like "ohkay..." so, we went in. and to my happy surprise, it was a Korean tradition house! the best part came when they said we were going to try on the traditional Korean costume, the hanbok. imagine my excitement! (note: pictures,again, shall be posted up later) then we had the green tea making ceremony, which was fun! and the traditional printing, which was FUN too and finally making traditional Korean pancakes. nice nice nice!

then, we went to play baseball! i only hit one out of like 20 balls that were shot at me but heck it! it was fun! then we went to take picture at the machine, which looks something like this :

and that was the end of my 1st meeting with my mentors (thanks mentors *smiles*). but, it wasn't the end of my day.

ian, the mad one, suggested that we, kauthar, himself and myself, go for a midnight movie at the cinema near our place. so, thinking of how much i wanted to watch narnia, i said YES immediately and we went to watch narnia! my 1st movie in korea!

the movie was good and i'm thrilled. prince caspian looks good ya know? so does king peter *laughs* i like the mouse and i always am at awe when i look at Aslan. the story, when you understand it for what it is, teaches us much. and i loved it!

so, that was the end of my day. and i came home exhausted!

cheers to me taking the effort!

the day i thought i caught the flu that came from chickens

2008-05-22T07:34:00.000-07:00

ever since this stupid would-not-stop cough started, i started to feel a little scared. the reason : i ate an egg that wasn't well cooked at a shop called yam saem ( i shall not talk about why i was there).

just so if you didn't know yet, Korea is caught in the bird flu fever lately. therefore, technically speaking, i shouldn't be eating half boiled eggs or my favorite "hor pau tan" with the flowing yolk. but who knew that the dish i called would come with a nearly raw egg on top of it?

so, as usual, i ate it. i can't really recall the dates, but after that, i continued eating eggs, like no one's business (which technically speaking really isn't) . then, a few days ago, i noticed my nose was starting to get blocked and my throat, itchy. slowly, the blocked nose started flowing and the itchy throat started to get sore from all the coughing.

the thing that got me scared was when the phlegm and mucus from my nose didn't come out yellowish in colour. instead, it was perfectly clear. that means, it isn't caused by me not drinking enough water!

call me indifferent for not knowing what exactly are the symptoms of bird flu but i actually came online to search it up. turns out, you need to have fever too!

and i didn't and don't have a fever.

yay!

shan't and shalls

2008-05-20T02:13:00.000-07:00

I shall not :

1) look at my quiz papers and stare at them as if i've never been taught how to to it ever again

2) get 0 for my quizzes anymore

3) lie down and fall asleep while doing it

4) get less than 90 more my sciences

5) skip studying my maths

6) think that maths isn't difficult ( its a lie )

7) think chemistry and physics isn't difficult ( it doesn't help )

8) sit on my study table and fall asleep and then waking up with a watery eye

9) do nothing all day long

10) fall asleep halfway while talking to Him

I shall :

1) study everyday

2) learn a new word everyday

3) read my friends' blogs ( everyone of them ) at least once a week (sorry)

4) finish reading every book i start

5) pray for everyone i know

6) finish my homework the night before and not on the morning that its due

7) call home at least once every fortnight

8) eat 3 proper meals a day

9) stop sparing on things that i shouldn't spare on

10) love everyone with the same amount of love *ahem*

therefore, to start, i shall stop having the propensity of procrastinating and get my rather heavy butt off the chair and my eyes off the computer!

cheers!!
wish me luck people!!!

its not exactly mother's day but...

2008-05-15T20:20:00.001-07:00

for me mom...

EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say .

"Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry."

This was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten. My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said,

"Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.

This was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, "Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning." Mother smiled and said

"Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired"

This was Mother's Third Lie.

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said

"Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!"

This was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying .

"I don't need love!"

This was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said,

"I have enough money!"

That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me

"I'm not used to high living!"

That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said,

"Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain!"

That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died ... she was an angel....

"M" is for the Million things she gave me
"O" means Only that she's growing old
"T" is for the Tears she shed to save me
"H" is for her Heart of gold
"E" is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them
"R" means Right, and right she'll always be

mom sent me this email. i wonder how many lies has she told me.... =P

and that's the way it goes

2008-05-01T02:28:00.000-07:00

In class today, dear Ms. Yun told us a beautiful story, which is a true story that made headlines. a story that touched the hearts of the Koreans and the Japaneses.
and the story goes...

"5 years ago, a Korean student who was studying the Japanese language in japan was waiting at the subway to get home after a long tiring day in university. but as he was waiting for the train to come, he spotted a girl trying to kill herself by jumping onto the tracks and waiting for her death. instinctively, he jumps on the tracks and tries to save her. unfortunately, as the student carried the girl and tried to run to safety, the train came approaching fast. no longer having any options, he heaved the girl up onto the platform with every ounce of strength that he had in his body and the last thing he saw was a blinding flash of light, as his body got rolled over by the train. the story of this incident spread like wild fire all over Korea and japan and the student was viewed as a hero."

everyone in the class was left with a heavy feeling in their hearts. but i was left with a sense of curiosity and wanted to know more about the whole incident. so, after school, i did some research and this is what i found:

http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P1-49766539.html

*laughs*

and that's the way it goes =)

How to Lose Pimples in Seconds!

2008-04-28T03:37:00.000-07:00

How to make those seemingly "ugly-fying" pimples on your face go away :

1. Look at yourself in the mirror and spot the pimples.

2. NO! don't start taking out the tissue and pimple presser to prepare for a surgery ( but if you have a bad habit like me, erm...just go ahead. however, don't do it if possible *hehe* )

3. Instead, close your eyes and think would you judge someone by their pimples?

4. Then, open your eyes and stare at you pimples in the face and tell yourself, no one cares whether you have a pimple on your face or not.

5. Then, remember, that your friends and family will still love you even if your face if covered by disfiguratingly bad acne problem.

6. Of course, don't forget that God still loves you all the same, despite the fact He allowed the pimples to be there.

There you go! after these 6 simple steps, you should be able to walk out of your house without a concealer yet look pimple free.

Hey, inner radiance works better than any make up in the world *smiles*

cheerio!~

i like to talk about friends =)

2008-04-21T04:46:00.000-07:00

friends....ahh.....what would we do without them.....
i suddenly had this urge to blog. about my friends.
each and every friend i have is irreplaceable, you know?
they are so uniquely made that the next person closest i can get to them is most probably their kids.
its nice to know that they were made for me by Him *smiles*

i had my 1st best friend when i was 7 and her name is shantini.
she was the only girl in class who was willing to talk and sit with me.
since i was a kid, i lived with the paranoia that i will never be able to make friends simply because people around me just didn't like me.
truthfully, it still kind of haunts me till today.
anyway, shantini was the sweetest girl i met. we'll go to the canteen together and take the food that our mom's have pre ordered from the canteen uncle. then we'll run around in the school field and talk about everything. she was the only girl i ever invited to my house when i lived in Penang.
Unfortunately, when i left Penang, we lost touch and i've not been able to find her till today.

when i 1st went to Taiping, the sense of being doomed to be forever friendless dawned to me once again.
i simply couldn't help it. no one, and i repeat, no one, would talk to the new girl. until along came a girl, named wong sin yee. she was the girl who sat beside me that year. the reason why she came all the way to the back was because no one wanted to mix with her as well. they called her a thief and true enough, soon my things went missing *laugh* but still, she was the only girl willing to talk to me back then. other girls refused to lend me their color pencils and pens. i was so discouraged, i never asked another person in my class for anything else anymore. till today, i still hate to open my mouth to ask. bad habit. yes, i know, thank you.
anyway, in standard 3, sin yee moved to a newly built smart school in Taiping and it wasn't until i was form 5 that i met her again in tuition. we exchanged smiles and were both happy that we remembered each other.

in standard 3, i was promoted to the 1st class and was in the class where the smart people were. the only girls who would talk to me were juliana, janice and jira. i was happy till standard 4 came and juliana and janice got PTS and skipped a year. but it wasn't long till i got to know leithiga a/p mohanachandran. she was the one who i hanged out with everyday after school. we hanged out often at her house cause her mom doesn't quite like her coming out. she's the most active, out going, out spoken, charismatic, and charming girl i know. she had many friends, yet she became my best friend. i am indeed honoured. but, by the end of standard 5, we parted ways as we step into the teenage world and where popularity mattered. but things are obviously okay now.

yes, the days where popularity and beauty mattered. they weren't beautiful days. they aren't the days that i would romanticise about through a pair of pink tainted glasses cause i was never quite the "popular girl"-ain't complaining though- but, i now look back at those days and laugh. its funny back then, how we were divided - the miss popularity clique and the miss not-so-popular clique. the "rivalry" actually lasted for quite a while *laughs*

anyway, in standard 5, i was once again close with jira. jiradevi a/p veerasimen. she's sassy, loud, and just simply bursting with personality. and we remain best friends till today. in standard 6, there was caryn, hazwani, eu nise and sow ann who came into the picture. they were my friends =)

that's a nice ending for the 1st half of my story. and this is where i shall end =)
i like writing more than you like reading this, so there'll definitely be a 2nd part =)

cheerio!~

it's been a month

2008-04-11T06:56:00.000-07:00

dear friends,

sorry for not keeping you guys updated for more than a month. i've changed much since coming here. i've gone from being super excited about being here, to really hating this place and feeling really homesick, complaining everyday, getting angry at people that i shouldn't have, to learning to like this place, get used to it and learn how to get to know my God better.

what has happened the past month? well, i've been to jeju island, a realy nice place ( would have been better if i either had my family o simply a nice date to be with =P ) , had my korean exams, liking kimbap, found shops that actually sell nice korean food, found food in korea which resembles malaysia food, found out that they actually sell barley here and has been making my own "bali peng" since then, learnt that cheesy rameon is good and actually know how to make it cause its easy, made a point to take an unown road at least once a week, go to the market like an auntie buying veggie and fish and sotong and potato, discovered an ala giant-near-cemara supermarket which sells sauces and alot of other stuff =) etc etc etc

hrm....besides all that, i've done a lot of observing. something i rarely did back in malaysia. a new place can make you funny. well, young koreans are pretty stylo people, especially when its winter. one should check out their boots. old koreans are really healthy. koreans like to go hiking. they hike like everyday. especially the older generation. i did hiking once in jeju island and i told myself, i will not do it again if i can help it. and elderly korean men and women has got hands so smooth you'd wonder what's ther secret. and another thing, why are koreans so fair ???!!!~~ and even their guys have flawless skin =S but then again, one should not ask for more than they have.

well, its spring now, and there's this yellow sad blowing from china. meaning, we are encouraged to wear masks when we go out. i've got one =) and its not like the ciplak one we used during the haze =) hehehe. and spring also mean flowers and grass coming to life and alot alot of sakura flowers. thought of getting a camera but....it can wait =)

my dearest mommy sent a nice big 16 kg package over filled with milo, coffee and tea from malaysia =) thankew!!~ cannot wait till i get it again. am happy now.

till the next time i take the effort again.bye!~ ^^

a brief moment

2008-03-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

*as she looked at the photos, her eyes began to water*

as i looked at the photos that had been taken from the past 9 months of my life, tears simply rolled down my eyes. it is the 1st time i really cried ever since coming here. the feeling was always there. but i was afraid to look at the photos. today, i finally decided to take the hard disc out of the cupboard. and i saw how much i left behind..........

i just realised i never really learned to let go. regrets. so many. one cannot begin to count.....
thanks joash

back at the starting line

2008-03-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

the only one thing that is pushing me thru this 1st month is the life i had in INTEC. its beginning to feel like my 1st few in INTEC. where i had no friends, no one to tell my problems to, could barely communicate with my housemates etc etc. the alien feeling being all so familiar once again.

life in INTEC was among the best thing to ever have happened to me. i found people who put me back on my path, people to play basketball and badminton with, someone to eat ice cream with, friends who i can place my trust on. those who i can believe to have my back. the company that i had in INTEC is beyond compare.

but before meeting them, my life there felt as bad as how it feels like right now. the difference now is, i know there's an ending, that the promise will be fulfilled. that there are far greater things waiting for me out there. and this time, i'm not at the starting line alone. i'm with people who are going thru the same problem as i am. people who i'm sure i'll be more than just friends with. the only thing that i've got to do now is keep the faith and be patient.

its funny sometimes how life can turn out. hah! the next big thing is out there, waiting for me. whatever it is, here i come!!! *smiles*

The Grass Is .....

2008-03-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

.....greener on the other side. just as the saying goes...

but now, the grass in Korea, is brown. as brown-er than the dead trampled grass you see in Malaysia.

that was the thought that struck me when i was walking this morning up the hill to the place where i study. and yes i have to climb hills everyday to go home and to get to class.

trees and grass all around me look as dead as they can possibly be. despite the fact that the scenery was undeniably beautiful, i can't help but think the grass is not any greener on the other side.

life here is beginning to feel more and more real once the ecstacy of being in a completely new country wears off. when the excitement of being an overseas scholar is gone, being here suddenly looses its "oomph!" and life begins to feel like the dead looking grass by the roadside.

when one's away from home, one suddenly longs for milo "peng" kau, toasted bread with kaya and butter, "teh si peng", char kuey teow, laksa, tau fu fah, "ham chim peng", popiah, roti canai, karipap, and the list can go on and on and on as i sit in this computer lab and continue thinking of food all day long and miss my evening classes.

however, not only does the stomach is wanting to be filled with delicious food, the soul is thirsting for good fellowship. being here, i left many friends behind. friends who i really cared for and who really cared and looked after me. missing the comfort of home is inevitable and one Has to Deal With It! but missing that feeling of being around people one can trust and confide in is just plainly saddening when one thinks of it.

there's always 2 sides to a coin though. no?

so, looking on the brightside of life, spring's coming soon. that's when the dead looking leaves come to life. where the grass turns green again. but it can never turn as green as the ones on the side that i was on before.

all i can do is hope and pray that being here will change as the season changes. that the currently brown colored life of mine will be added colors into it by new people i meet here just as my friends back in taiping, in intec added beautiful colours into my life.

although the colors were all sucked out when i stepped on the plane that fateful day, all i can do is i keep my faith and make the best out of what i have! *smiles*

Life in Korea - The 1st 6 Days

2008-03-04T21:05:00.000-08:00

*coughs*
sorry for the dust that has been collecting in my blog. the cause of this is competely the fault of the fact that i'm was going to come to Korea and am already in Korea!~
*jumps*

well...the reason why there hasn't been any update about myself being here until now is purely because of the fact that i can barely get myself connected to the internet. which is bad of course.

okay...let's see...where to start...where to start...

let's start from the time i reached the airport and was bout to leave.
i cried. i don't think i did that much for the past 10 years. leaving is a bad thing. especially when you have all your loved ones around you. family....friends.....

i want to thank all that took the effort to go send me off :)
thanks mom, dad, uncle alfie, anne ooi ... in short my whole family :)
thanks jing!
thanks pinky!
thanks mel!
thanks abraham!
-you guys gave me a complete shock!
thanks joash!
-for helping to be the photographer
thanks jacky a.k.a fei ba!
-for taking the effort to come :)

thanks to them, i cried soo much....
that i would have died of dehydration if it wasn't thanks to billy who helped me to stop crying.
hehehe.
thanks bes fren!

now...to the part where i tell about my 1st 6 days in Seoul, Korea.
orientation started the moment we got off the plane.
well, like every other orientation, mine was equally torturing....no sleep and plenty of "exercise". got to know most of the seniors and well...they are all pretty nice people.
in short, orientation was a torture but i enjoyed it... in a way O.o

after the 3 days of extensive orientation, we finally get to move around. most of the students moved into the houses prepared for them but as for myself, since i'm homeless, i have to bunk in one of the houses.

the houses here are small if you compare them to those in Malaysia. but they are very comfortable houses. cozy....warm (when you on the heater)....and just nice for the amount of people in it. hopefully i get to move into my own one soon!! so i can unpack and actually really get started!

moving around Seoul isn't difficult. one just simply have to read the sign board properly and ask around. and things are aren't very expensive when you treat 1000won as RM1. shoes and boots here sell for only 5000won! that's like, cheap! but ain't buying much...cause will have to survive here with the money for at least 3 months.

started the 1st day of lessons today. the enviroment isn't much different until you come out and you see a whole bunch of foreign students everywhere! its pretty cool, but i miss the familiar faces i see everytime i walk out off class during break time in INTEC.

i miss the time i get to go play in the swing in cemara.
i miss the time i get to sit all night and talk to friends.
i miss the time i go and get sourz with my bes fren and we simply talk.
i miss the time i can get hop on a ktm and go home to Subang.
i miss the time i get to go for CA.
i miss the time i get to simply walk down and play basketball.

the feeling of not being in Malaysia is still very surreal for me. until yesterday, i actually still thought home was just a train ride away. it wasn't until i got lost yesterday around the town centre that i finally realised that this is it!

adapting hasn't really been difficult. maybe the difficult part hasn't come yet. but whatever tomorrow brings, i know i can make if thru cause i've got a Big God :)
and i've got people who love me alot around me!
and i love them too!
and i miss them.... alot!

till the next time this blog collects dust again!
cheers people! ^^

What Would You Do?

2008-02-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

What would you do if you have to make a choice to either :

1)to lose control of your mobility

or
2)to suffer from cramps so bad it nearly equals the effects of the 1st choice
everyday, as long as life still flows in your blood?

That's pretty much what Parkinson's disease(PD) does to you, when you are at a point where it is not enough to paralyze you and you are dependent on medication for that little spark of hope to undo the disease's unforgiving nature.

PD is not a disease where there is a cure. One can either take medication, endure its side effects and suppress it a little or go through a surgery to fix a regulator that will cost approximately say.... a fortune, to fix. That's also without the guarantee of a gaining back motor abilities.

Most PD patients opt for the 1st option. Medication. The drug often used to treat PD is called Levodopa. Its is transformed into dopamine once taken but cause of the fact that not 100% enters where it should (to be exact only 2-6% does) the rest goes to places where it should not and causes a whole set of side effects.

The funny thing with PD is, it doesn't only affect one physically, it also does mentally, behavior wise and one's mood. It is at times difficult to tell whether it is PD or merely the aftermath of the war against PD that one goes through.

Personally, it is impossible to understand what PD patients have to go through. One can only admire them for their strength and courage, to wake up every morning, and make that choice, to continue to fight PD for the ones who matter around them, despite knowing that the disease is devouring them like a hungry lion savoring his catch and that the battle is more often than not a lost one.

Well, i know of one person of such. He courageously wakes up every morning and fights his never ending battle, filled with frustration and anger. But his fight is not without a purpose. It is to be with his family, to try his best to be the best father in the world to his daughters and a husband to a wife, who never let go of his hand, with what he has left.

Its difficult. But that's life. No?

A Chinese New Year To Remember

2008-02-06T19:57:00.000-08:00

Well, its that time of the year again. Where everyone goes back to their families and happily have a reunion dinner. And in the morning, every kid gets their "ang pows" and every married person gives them.

Sure, everyone days that this is a joyous celebration, therefore there shouldn't be any tears shed on such a day. However, in the midst of happiness, at times, we forget those who aren't so happy, to the point where they are suffering, around us. Those who put happy smiles on their faces for the sake of the occasion. And when we do think of them, the feeling of depression and helplessness settles in and on a very joyous day, where we should rejoice and be merry, turns into a night filled with worry and regrets.

But, God is great. He never forgets anyone. The reason why any of us would think of the less happy souls is so that we can do something about it. Something that will help lift the sadness of our loved ones and infect them with the joy that we have with us. To ease their burden, to make them feel alive again. There isn't much point in sitting back and see how things will turn out. And the other way around, other people are sent into our lives to lift us up as we lift others up. Its like a chain reaction of joy spreading! The thought of it puts a smile on my face today.

*smiles*

So, let us be merry and joyous this Chinese New Year for we are again with our family on a day where we get a lot of money (hey!it rhymes!). Let's come together and treasure every moment that we get to spend with them. For no one knows what tomorrow will bring!

cheers people!
새해복많이받으세요!!^^

The Girl Who Called Everyone Ugly

2008-01-15T05:28:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, say...now, lived a girl who loved calling people she knew ugly. Old and new acquaintances alike. By far, not one has escaped her unique obsession. The only day those around got a little rest from hearing that abusive word was most likely to be a Sunday.

So, more often than not, she is plagued with questions.
"Why do you call me ugly?" they ask.
"Why not? I call everyone ugly." she answers simply
"But, are you that pretty?" they argues
"Nope. Just as ugly as you are." comes the answer
"Then you don't have the right to call others ugly." And the debate continues.

* * *

Friends, earthlings, countrymen, lend me your eyes. Since when did the right to call people ugly belonged to pretty people? Freedom of expression! That's the arguement.

* * *
Only those who really knew her never took those words to hear. This was because the knew that she never meant her words. It was merely for her own amusement. In fact, the closer they knew her, the less they heard the word.

All the girl ever wanted was to find friends who can take a joke right in the face and Laugh! Friends who she can be thruthful to and not confide in another person when issues arise in a friendship. For she believed that if they were secured enough to know they are not ugly, they know well enough that she doesn't really think they are too, but none the less, they will continuously over react everytime, just to amuse her.

True enough, she has been blessed to have such friends.

* * *

No one is. I mean ugly. Humans Are afterall made in God's image and to say they are ugly, and really mean it, is simply not anyone's right, because if it is, then it becomes a very vain debate indeed.

It is, afterall, the heart that matters. No?

Special thanks to : everyone who is reading this and is romanticizing of the many times this girl has called them ugly.